


Unexpected Nightmares(Dangerous Experiences Against Death)

by whatthemeepever



Series: It's All Ray's Fault [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, RayShippouUchiha - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Because Hela wants Toni to be happy, But plot gremlins attacked, But they're gonna suffer first, Character agreeing to Mercy Death, Deadpool talked Peter into The Plan, Extremis Tony Stark, He did NOT SIGN UP FOR ZOMBIES, Hela talked deadpool into The Plan, I'd like to begin by saying, If you can't tell I hate Lori, Literally falling into another dimension, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Not really important but it's there, Peter was completely on board to help Toni, RayShippouUchiha, Reeds nightmare portals, She loves her Merchant, Sorry Not Sorry, Soulmates, They'll be happy, This is all Ray's Fault, This was supposed to be super self indulging Crack Treated Seriously, Typical gore found in apocalypse, accidental child abuse, like at all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2020-12-09 12:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20994482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthemeepever/pseuds/whatthemeepever
Summary: After Siberia. After extremis has reforged her one final time. Toni has learned how to breathe again with the spiderling’s help. How to handle the changes wrought in her death and rebirth with Dr. Strange. But Death isn't pleased with the hand dealt by Fate to her beloved Merchant and she will tear reality apart to grant the hard won happy ending she believes Toni has earned.





	1. Little Shop of Horrors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RayShippouUchiha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayShippouUchiha/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Limitations of Wax](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6606808) by [RayShippouUchiha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayShippouUchiha/pseuds/RayShippouUchiha). 

> Yeah it's insane and intentionally salty Crack treated seriously...at least until rabid fucking plot gremlins attacked.
> 
> There are nods to RayShippouUchiha’s works from her Components of Construction Series which include the world and character building that she's created, writing style, etc.
> 
> I took things and then slid to the left to give it my own flare. 
> 
> Pre-fic start backstory-  
After Toni emerges from the extremis cocoon she can't really moderate her grip strength or balance so JARVIS calls Peter to come help her. She also wakes up with every electronic creation talking to her so she and J figure out some quick and dirty firewalls to keep her from losing herself so when she can manage not walking into walls or crushing anything she touches she calls Strange and tells him what happened. 
> 
> They teach her how to focus. How to moderate and control what she can see and manipulate other energies. Strange starts showing her other things he learned that run parallel with science because of nothing else Toni might be the one person that can keep up. It helps that Wong adores her from the get go and sneaks her books and shows her things Strange had to muddle through himself.
> 
> So things as they stand. Her and Peter are so much closer now. She plays liaison between the accords council and practitioners of the mystic arts. Now though that she understands more about the universe as a whole she gets the wonderful job of trying to keep Reed Richard's from summoning a black hole or other such eldritch horror and her only ally is Johnny.

##  ** _Part One: Gotta Love Those Old School Horror Movies_ **

**Chapter One: Little Shop of Horrors**

**(Toni gets a phone call. Reed Richards and his obsession with portals. Peter has A Plan but he didn't sign up for this zombie tomfuckery, Thank You Very Much.)**

As Toni takes the step between Strange’s Batcave into her lab she smiles. No panic clawing at her ribs. No clenched jaw keeping a scream at bay.

_It tastes like victory_. Who would have thought all it took her was making the portal herself. “J,baby boy see about getting the Taco Supreme a present.”

“Of course Miss. The usual or shall I Go Big?” JARVIS’ ever polite voice is full of fond mischief.

“I trust your judgment. It'll be better than mine I'm sure.” Already distracted by the equations and algorithms on the hologram.

Extremis is such a gift even if the cost was her humanity. 

_Worth it._

She would get to be there with her children. With Peter and Vis. Both of whom would live such very long lives. She couldn't bare the thought of them being left alone. _And now they won't_. 

‘_Miss_?’ J’s code tendrils in the back of her mind like an embrace. Not letting her get too far in her head. She let herself fall into the feeling for just a moment, enjoying that she will never go where JARVIS can not follow ever again. 

They are welded together, J is part of her very soul now. The first adventure she had that brought her off world and JARVIS could only come if he was with her, truly with her in such a way that he will never be apart again and that meant him downloading himself into her mind. Her hand slides along her stomach idly running her fingers over her navel charm. What was once a shield is now medallion with a Norse rune for life. A gift from Thor after he rescued her when he learned what JARVIS had done. Asgardian tech that could hold all of J's code so that they could function easier and no matter what happens they would never go where the other could not follow. 

She wouldn't have it any other way after Siberia. _After everything._

Across the quietly content lab ‘_Cherry Bomb_’ starts blasting from her phone. She takes a moment to pray that Johnny is wanting to rope her into shenanigans of the reckless variety and not the witless wonder. 

“Hey there Ponyta, what kinda trouble you got for us to find?” 

“Oh God I would love that to be why I called you Vulpix. But it's the idiot again. I can't even figure out how he managed this epic level fuck up. It looks like the footage from Thor’s London adventure a few years back just worse. like a love child of it and some Lovecraftian horror.” Johnny’s tone is full of snark but she can hear the wobble in his voice. 

“Reed _fucking_ Richards! Give me five minutes Rapidash. I'm on my way.” She is already moving listening to his relief and hanging up as she throws out alerts to warn of Reeds latest stunt.

J’s code is streaming furiously through firewalls to get eyes on the situation. She feels when he gets through because it's the closest to cursing as his code gets. Any other day she'd be proud but then she gets the feed and freezes, trapped between terror of what could come from all those tears in reality and rage at the negligence that caused it in the first place.

Changing direction she opens her safe and snags her appropriately termed ‘kitchen sink’ pack. She's ridiculously proud of it. It's one step closer to building her very own TARDIS. She has a feeling Wong slytherined her over it but she doesn't care. A meet and greet with Beyoncé was worth it. The two of them are adorable and quite possibly will take over the world one day.

Even when Strange started calling her Hermione it was _still worth it_. Though by her logic that makes him Harry but he didn't care much for that. Cared less about being called Snape due to his dramatic as all hell cape. Getting dropped on an island for a few hours was fine. She could have left whenever she wanted but hey why on earth would she pass up the opportunity to enjoy the sun. She could fully blame Strange. He did put her there after all and was nice enough to pack a bag. 

Now that she thinks of it no one said a word about it and she's got the feeling that shenanigans had been involved. 

But regardless if she gets stranded on another planet again she's really gonna kill Richard _dead_ dead, it took weeks to get back last time. That planet still worships her as a God if what Thor says is true. She would love to have seen Loki’s face. She bets it would have been _glorious_. He might have offered her to be his queen in truth but they made her a _Goddess_. If nothing else he would have enjoyed the chaos of it all with her.

The armor resting in her bones slides up as she makes it to the roof and takes to the sky aiming for the light show that is the penthouse of the Baxter building. J snags her attention to the alley by the building where the spider tot is lurking. She drops and by the time she's crossing her arms over her chest the armor had melted back into her skin and eyebrow cocked.

Toni doesn’t even ask how he knows. She blames Wade and his buddy Hela. Don't get her wrong she likes Wade, loves him even for him keeping an eye out on Peter. Hell from what Wade says she's one of Lady Death's favored but she _knows_ that when Peter is somewhere that he shouldn't have a clue about or does something that he shouldn't know how to do, she blames Wade.

Looking over him it's obvious that he didn't choose what he's wearing nor what he had with him because the bag slung over his shoulder is new and modified military grade gear. _Oh God it’s gonna be a field trip_.“Do I even want to know what cryptic shit he said?”

The spiderling is shameless. He doesn't even squirm. “Wade said it's a fix point kinda thing? That you'd know what that means?”

Toni knows _exactly_ what that means but eyes him for another minute. There's more to that. She knows that Wade would tell Peter everything. But she also, despite everything to the contrary that literally everyone has ever told her, trusts Wade. With Peter safety if nothing else.

So duckling in tow, extremis in her bones, J in her soul it only takes a second to make arrangements for however long this will take. Not like it’s a hardship, any chance to not interact with the Rogues shouldn’t be ignored. She grins answering Rhodey’s call just as the elevator closes. “Hey there sour patch I just got to Reeds Little Shop of Horrors.”

”Don't Tones. Just whatever it is. _Don't_.” she closes her eyes for just a second, knowing why he is demanding that she _stop_, that she turns back and not do this. But she can't, not now that she has learned so very much from Wong and Strange. That she can see how so much more of the universe works and the threads of energy that connects everything. Extremis really was so very generous to her even in the little quirks that crop up.

“Peter's with me. Wade called it a fixed point. It'll be fine.” “Dammit Tones. I can't...you-you come back to me, you hear me!? You come back alive or I will resurrect you just so I can kill you again, little girl. Don't think I won't. You better bring me a pretty shot glass for my collection.”

“Rhodey. _James_. I promise. _I promise_. I'll come home to you. I swear. It's you and me till the day we die. I'll bring you the BESTEST best souvenir I can find. I love you. I'll see you soon. It's just a milk run. Nothing to worry about.“ she's lying. She knows it and so does he but he won't call her on it cause he knows just like she does why she had to go. Every single thing she learned at the Sanctum she passed it along to her family. Every advantage she can bring to the table she will cheerfully share.

_Knowledge is Power after all._

She hangs up the phone with Rhodey's love in her ear as the elevator doors open. It's chaos and not the enjoyable kind. Sue is screaming every curse word she knows repeating them through different languages and that’s _**Bad**_. Toni is running before it fully registers, Peter keeping pace at her side. Its worse. _Oh my Thor how can it have gotten worse._

Two portals are beginning to merge, sickly yellow and bright orange melting into an impossible, terrifying hell fire violet-red.

Any other time Toni would be fascinated but right now people-_her son/not son_-are in danger and it’s too late. She can see it, calculate it before it happens. But it does nothing against that she’s too late to act other than turning and pulling Peter to her. _TO PROTECT._

He towers over her now but she still pulls him down as she pushes the armor to take the brunt of the blast. It _**hurts**_. Burns and tears at her very being. Jarvis is a frantic voice in her ear. _Begging her, pleading with her to get away_. But keeping Peter safe is the priority. Pain is nothing she isn't used to. She will gladly welcome it if it keeps her precious boy safe.

She can't keep the scream in even though she _tries_. The insidious red light flares brighter in time with the pitch of her screams until it starts to flicker. With each flicker her scream hitches.

Breaks. Shutters. Falters.

All of reality pauses as the light shuddered before it builds once more into a crescendo, only matched by Toni’s screams.

Until everything finally, blissfully _stops_. The only sound is an echoing silence in the wake of a pain filled scream. Toni and Peter are gone.

~ * ~

Peter comes to first with just enough time to twist, to catch and take the force of their fall. He can hear a heartbeat. Knows she'll be okay because Wade promised. But his senses are **_Screaming_** that something is so so very wrong. That they aren't safe here. That nowhere is safe here. Wincing, doing his best to breathe through the overload. He stays there with Toni cradled in his arms as the white hot painful flare of _dangerdangerdanger_ dims into a dull throb of aching wrongness.

Looking up he has a moment of _‘I know this place. How do I know this place?!’_ As he takes in the ruin of a hospital. Scooping his mother/not mother up he picks his way down the hallway murmuring the periodic table to Toni as she starts to drag her way to clarity, hoping if nothing else his calm voice will help. “Petey, wha-where are we?”

“I'm not sure Ms. Toni. I feel like I should know where we are but I can't-” As Peter has turned another corner made it to the end of the hallway the realization hits him, he knows deep in his soul where they are now but can’t-_won’t_ say it. Not till he sees that damning proof. Wade never mentioned anything about this when he explained everything. He most definitely didn't sign up for this shit. “Oh no. Oh fuck me. _No_.”

Toni jerks, Peter cursing isn’t new. He couldn’t not pick it up around her even if she tries not to curse around him as much. Not to mention Wade's filthy language. But hearing the word _fuck_ come out his mouth is so out of character enough that it sends her into hyper vigilance until she too sees the writing and goes still.

‘_J, baby boy are you there? Am I seeing this right? I don't have a concussion do I?’ ‘I am here mother. You aren't harmed but I now have plans when we return home to ruin Dr. Richards quite thoroughly.’_ Toni can't help the smirk at JARVIS’ promise. Looks like she knows who had been encouraging Butterfingers murder attempts at the compound. _‘Of course not Miss. Mr. Keener and Butterfingers share a profound bond, a connection of you will.’_

Toni mentally sighs while she is checking over Peter. “I'm really going to straight up murder Reed for this tomfuckery. Every single time I go to that nightmare town of a tower it is some horseshit like this. Firefly owes me shenanigans for this. You okay there, spider-tot?”

Peter winces, rubbing his forehead “I'm okay. Just the spidey sense going crazy because this place is so wrong, like all the wrong. I promise that I'm okay though.” He gives a small lopsided smile at the raised eyebrow.“I'm not sure I believe you seeing as that's exactly what I would say. But I trust you to tell me the moment you aren't.”

Toni closes her eyes as she tries to think about how to proceed. Tries to keep a clear head while pushing back the panic that is crawling up her throat. “We need to find his hospital room. See where we are in the timeline. If it even follows the timeline. Hell, if that is even where we are and not someone's sense of humor or something.”

She starts to slowly pick her way back the way they came, leading away from those dreaded doors as she continues to speak “Then we are taking everything we can from this hospital. When we get a moment I'll add what you need to your pack to make it like mine.”

Toni jerks to a stop, Peter nearly running into her as he hovers worried behind her. The body before her is very dead. Partially eaten with a bullet hole tore through the side of its head “Mean Green, Helen and me had a science binge after marathoning zed movies a few years back. If we are stuck here I’m gonna at least try to come up with something to keep us safe, or hidden. Like, ya know, Brad Pitt did.”

It makes Peter laugh. It might only be a huffy kinda snort but it’s a laugh and she’ll take it. Even as she hears the ‘_Don’t Dead. Open Inside_’ doors rattle just a bit, mocking her. She’ll take it.

They decide to secure all the entrances on the ground floor first as well as rig some kind of alarm system for the chance of someone forcing their way in. It will also give them an idea to the amount of structural damage the building has. Before they can even begin to even think of accomplishing that they first need to secure a room and check what supplies they have with them. She knows what her bag holds for the most part. Toni finds that Wade literally strong armed him into his clothes and pack so he has no clue what it holds.

Turns out it was an apocalypse starter kit. It even had a present/apology gift for Toni. She could almost forgive him as she ran her hands along the reinforced dark Crimson leather, drags her fingers over the black piping with its delicate gold stitching. _Almost_. But she can't say anything about his taste even if Peter laughingly says she looks like something out of an Assassin's Creed game but on the bright side hidden pockets and holsters _everywhere_ and it is just loose enough for the armor to fit under but tight enough to fit properly.

She takes a minute to breathe as she watches Peter adjust the knife at his belt. Pulling it and replacing it before moving how it sets till it's fluid. She had finished doing the same with hers though with her paranoia they have more than just one knife. “Peter this isn't going to be easy. They were once people and taking a life, any life isn't an easy thing. If there are more than we expect lay flat against the ceiling and I'll pick them off.”

Inhaling deep they get to work.


	2. Not in Kansas Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two everyone! On Friday as promised. 
> 
> This is where the plot gremlins attacked an turned it from Crack Treated Seriously to slightly angsty plot.
> 
> Hope everyone had a great weekend! Enjoy!

**_<strike></strike>Chapter Two: Not in Kansas Anymore_ **

**__(Toni and Peter settle into the new reality that they find themselves in. Peter learns about Icarus. Rick wakes up to meet a mother and son.)**

Eight days later, most of the hospital is cleared. Rick had been found and secured in a better room. Today the goal is to manage the last two top floors. They will be the hardest due to damage and Toni is doing her best to stay calm as they start surveying. There are only a few undead here and dispatching them is relatively easy now, neither of them flinch at the slick wet crunch of a blade sinking into flesh and bone. 

Toni slide-steps forward, carefully pressing her weight to test the edges of charred floor freezing as it groaned. She's not in the armor because it's way too heavy; don't ask how that works considering its still with her but somehow doesn't add weight unless it manifests and Toni actively didn't think about the maddening impossibility of it, even though both J and the spiderling protested and are still protesting that fact regardless that it takes barely a thought for it to slide into existence.

She's almost to the end of the hall near the door to the last patient room when one of the dead lurches up and directly into the only support holding up the ceiling. Toni has the moment to think-scream _ FUCK _before her mind goes smooth and she moves, twisting into the door as the armor slams in place. 

The duel screams of ‘_ Mother’ _ that she hears over the crashing ceiling and roof coming down around her as she goes through the window and down to make her way back up to where she left Peter. J is in her ear with information that Peter _ is not okay _ and she gets him to connect to his com. All Toni can do is repeat that's she's okay. It didn't get her. That she is on her way. For Peter to answer her as she runs desperately to get back to him. The sobbing pleading that _ his mother be okay _ and _ pleasepleaseplease _ ** _don't leave him_ ** in her ear are breaking her heart. She doesn't register anything but Peters voice when he finally _ finally _answers her and by then she rounds the corner and sees him so so close to the gaping hole in the floor.

~ * ~

Peter can't focus properly. The wrongness of everything a constant press on his senses. It does not help that Toni is literally tiptoeing toward the end of the hall where something blew most of the floor, walls, and ceiling into ruins. He keeps clenching his fists to keep from reaching for her, to pull her back from danger. 

The buzzing changes frequency right before one of _ them _ clears the door and suddenly everything is _ falling _ and Toni is _ gone. _

And _ oh God. There's so much blood. _

He doesn't register that he screams. That the word mother comes out of his mouth. That he just drops, uncaring that pieces of the building are still falling around him. Peter can't feel anything. Not the falling bits of cement nor the tears that stain his face. 

It takes a long time before he hears the voice in his ear. _ Toni's voice in his ear. _ “Pete, sweetheart I'm okay. I got clear. I'm fine. I'm working my way back to you just stay there and stay safe.”

She's repeating herself and he doesn't know how long she's been doing that. Doesn't know how long she's listened to him. Doesn't even know what all he was saying between the quiet sobs that's made her sound so frantic. “_ Mom?” _

He doesn't hear an answer in his ear but the sound of rapid footsteps skidding around the corner behind him before he's engulfed tightly in a hug before being pulled back from the gaping hole where the floor once was and the scent of her strawberries and cream shampoo overwhelms him. 

Safety. Comfort. Home.

She's cradling his face in her hands, wiping tears away as she never stops speaking. All Peter can do is raise his hands to her face, sinking it into her hair as he buries his into her shoulder to muffle the strangled sob of relief. 

Toni's heart is breaking because it was not just J that screamed for their mother. Peter, her little spider-tot. Oh she has thought of him as hers ever since she met him in that tiny apartment so long ago. But she really thought of him as _ her son _ after Siberia. When she destroyed everything she touched and was nearly half mad with rage and grief. Peter with his rambling pop culture references between calm explanations to how he learned to gentle his _ everything _so he could function.

She had _ hoped _he might feel that way. Just like she does with Harley. They were a flesh and blood legacy she could be proud of. She might never be able to give birth but she could still have children. 

They manage to get back to the room they've secured without letting the other go. Things are quiet but not uncomfortably so. They stay pretty well in each others space, grounding touches and reassuring glances all through dinner. By the time they are ready for bed Toni breaks the silence.

“Have you ever heard the story of Icarus?”

~ * ~

It's been two weeks since they got here. _ Two weeks _since they were literally ripped from their own world, reality, the universe, whatever. 

The hospital had been cleared and secured in such a way that it still looks empty, looks so far gone and destroyed that it won't be a place people would venture near. They have also managed to completely loot the entire building but for what's left behind those locked doors with its horrifying proof of where they are. For some reason neither of them felt it would be right to do anything with it.

Toni sighs, taking a break from pouring over maps and phone books while she makes viable lists of places to stay, check for supplies or try to avoid while committing everything to memory with J’s help. They had already gone through the outer buildings of the hospital as well as the surrounding area setting up strategically placed surveillance to make sure they wouldn't be caught unaware, she was still working on a better answer. She leans back into the chair situated between the two beds. One holds the still comatose Rick Grimes, the other holds Peter who is finally resting. Toni is so very proud of how well he has handled everything, how much he's already adapting his senses to the constant scream of _ wrongness _ he feels until he could pick up the frequency changes between the dead, the living and his surroundings.

It's been hard, this nightmarish place. But Toni knows these moments right now are calm, the calmest that she'll be able to have for a long time. 

The only clue to how long it can take Rick to wake are the flowers by his bed. Thank Thor JARVIS remembered that tiny tidbit of subtle visualization to the passage of time. She eyes the flowers sitting oh so innocently on the bedside table. Not much longer now, luckily he should be in better shape this time around since they kept his IV changed and his wounds clean. They'll have to start keeping one person with him at all times so he wouldn't panic when he wakes. At least he wouldn't be able to pull a Captain America and destroy everything in his path on his way out.

Peter won't be happy that he won't be able to join her to clear the military outpost in the hospitals far parking lot. He'll have to be satisfied with just scouting it out this time. 

The laptop sitting open with its screen dark by her feet suddenly boots up with familiar and loved coding shining in arc reactor blue. Smiling as she picks it up she is feels so much pride that her darling baby boy was able to hack into the CDC with the handicap that he currently has until she can figure out a better way for him to function. 

She makes yet another mental note to get Wong a present. The way things are going she's gonna end up buying him either an island or a small country. Funneling dimensional energy into electronics has been a godsend. Her and J are still running equations on the best way to get a vehicle up and running with it. 

_ ‘Hey J, make a note. I might actually get to try my hand at moonshine. There's only so much gas left. Gonna have to get creative on alternatives if we can't get it running on the mojo.’ _ Toni smiles at J's mental sigh of exasperated fondness, she can all but see his code trying to facepalm because he's heard the stories his uncle Rhodey had told at great length numerous times of the last time she tried that. 

She checks the time before she starts diving into files mined from the CDC. Hoping that they've been able to find something even if this world isn't nearly as advanced as home but considering its only 2010 here and the major tech boom had really taken off after the invasion it's understandable, she's done more with less and in worse circumstances. She's got a couple more hours before she needs to wake Peter, maybe longer since he seems to be resting so well for once.

~ * ~

Ever since they got here Peter had went from deep sleep to wide awake and on Pointe between one heartbeat and the next. _ Well when he finally managed to get to sleep _. He lays there for another minute, eyes closed as he listens to the soft tap tap tapping of a keyboard, Toni and Rick's heartbeat, and the complete stillness that now seems to settle heavily in the air. Peter knows its due to the lack of people, lack of electronics that cause the void of frequency that his senses are picking up. While at first it freaked him out, it felt like he was going deaf or had lost a vital piece somewhere but now the void is useful. It makes it so much easier to identify an unseen threat whether it be living or dead. 

_ Kill The Dead. Fear The Living. _He had thought it a cool tagline but now it's one of their rules of zombieland that they added. 

God, Zombieland. He remembers finding all the rules on the internet hilarious. Now though, now they make so much sense. He's so glad that dystopian is one of his favorite genres. That its something he and Toni shares. It makes for referencing things easier to get an idea across.

Toni's heartbeat upticks,catching all of Peter's attention. “What is it? Something wrong?”

He's already moved to rest his chin over her shoulder to see what she's been working on. “Is that-but wouldn't that not react like that?”

Toni hums an agreement and pulls up the next screen. “Look at that. This, this and this act all wrong. Those markers shouldn't be there and these aren't supposed to read like that. What do you make of it?”

Peter bites the inside of his cheek to hold back the smile. Always teaching, always giving every advantage. She's such a good mom. “Well this might be the comic book and Star Trek nerd in me but when everything happened with the portals there were two of them that merged? But actually it would have been three. Ours, this one, and whatever other place it connected. Do you think it-it could be from there? Like I don't know but that feels right?”

Toni is beaming at him launching into a story about Agent Agent and one of his cases. About chitauri tech being contaminated and killing anyone that came into contact with it. “Good job, kiddo. Damn fine job. I'm so proud!”

He's blushing he knows it but the smile he returns to her is just as big, just as pleased that he made her proud of him. “But there's something I'm worried about. How are we gonna do this? Wade talked about fixed points versus time influx so when it comes to Canon what are we going to do?”

Toni's smile dims a tiny bit as she looks over towards Rick. “Well forewarned is forearmed. We'll have to test what we can shift and what's set. There have to be ripples because we are here no matter what but those will settle. Time is usually self correcting to a point. But Doctor Who did manage to get a lot of it right. Rick will be our first real control experiment, if we go to his house and Morgan still shows it will help us figure out where we can go from there. We _ still have to _ go to the CDC. I need some of the things they have.” Toni takes a moment as hey mind ricochets through plans and contingencies to ideas and necessities before she changes gears as she looks over at the other occupied bed. 

“We've got to keep one of us with him at all times. It's not going to be much longer before he wakes. Few days, a week at the most. We both won't be able to scout and clear the outpost. I'm thinking you can scout it. Stay high and let Karen record everything. Do a full circuit and crisscross. I want you on the ground as little as possible. You've got Dronie, make them do the tent inventory. Peter I can not stress this enough. _ You be safe _ . You do not _ take chances _. Am I clear?” 

Peter holds her gaze steady even as panic starts clawing at his throat. “I swear Toni. I understand. Does that mean you'll have to clear it alone? You'll be armored the whole time right? Cause you have to stay safe too. Your the only family I got here and I _ can't lose another m- _.”

Toni's noise of distress catches him off guard as she sets the computer down and nearly tackles him into a hug. “Petie, my baby boy, of course I will. Whatever you need to have a peace of mind. You and Harley are the closest thing I'll ever have to flesh and blood kids. I love you. I know I don't say things like I should but I'm saying it now.” 

Now they are both crying, that's all they seem to do this week. Tears sliding down their faces even as they smile. It might be a little bittersweet but it's not completely sad. Peter has his face buried in her hair as he answers her, murmurs his _ I love you mom _ quietly. As if saying it any louder makes it less true. Pulling back he grins “I'm gonna go ahead and get that done while we've got good daylight. We'll be able to go over the footage tonight over dinner, yeah?”

He pulls Toni, _ his mother, _tight once more before pressing a kiss into her hair before getting his gear ready to go.

~ * ~

“I can't wait to tell Harley that we got to live an actual self-insert fic. Mr Rhodey is never going to let you forget this.” Peter's voice is gleeful and Toni groans knowing that he has figured out her one guilty pleasure reading habit. 

‘_ That little brat. J you're a bad influence on your brother’ _ ‘ _ Never Miss. I do believe he takes more after our Uncle Rhodey.’ _ Toni grins as she watches the video feed. ‘ _ Brats the both of you.’ _

“Petie get me eyes on the interior of those cargo trucks to your left. Then carry on counter-clockwise in a spiral working inward.” The answered _ Yes Ma'am _ and secondary feed from the drone pops up. 

It goes quickly after that. Luckily there is plenty that they will be able to use. She's very happy to see the long distance and stealth drones that J will be able to hack, they'll be a great help for a lot of things. 

While she watches the monitor she's got Peter's bag in her hands. His gear sat out neatly on his bed as she pulls energy from the aether into an almost thread. Engraving the fabric with the symbols and language of the mystic arts. She's humming under her breath as she works, knowing it can be heard over coms as Peter goes over every inch of the outpost. It seems to help she's learned every time they've had to separate since they got here. “Anything else you want me to check out?”

“Just another perimeter check before you come back spiderling. What are you feeling like for dinner?” They banter and snark over the best combination of choices. How yes chocolate is appropriate and no protein bars aren't good even with it. It's nice, Toni thinks as J lectures her about proper meals again. She changes Rick's IVs again while adding his nightly nutrition drip. She hopes this helps, they still can't figure out how he didn't die otherwise.

As Peter walks in the door she tossed the finished bag at his head. A small fond smile on her face as she watches him ramble excitedly as he sticks his arm up to his shoulder in one of the side pockets. 

~ * ~

Nearly a week later and Rick still hasn't moved until now. Toni had been dozing after finishing the last of the engine modifications to their car when the raspy gravel of a voice long unused spoke. She raises her head as she hears the crumble of flowers and whisper-screams of rising panic. “Easy, easy Officer Grimes. You're okay. You've been in a coma for a while. Don't try to get up just yet. Here, it's just water. Not too fast. There you go. Hi I'm Toni. Me and Peter found you a couple of weeks ago. He's running a perimeter check right now. 

Toni pauses, trying not to overwhelm him with information. “What happened? Where's my family?!”

“Was there talk of illness sweeping across America when you got shot, some kind of really bad flu maybe? Okay it was worse than anyone could have predicted. There's a refugee camp in Atlanta. That's where they probably are. Hey Petie, come say hello to sleeping beauty.”

She watches as Rick visibly settles more at the sight of Peter. Poor kid looks so much younger than seventeen nearly eighteen year old should. Bless his heart, he even offers a hand to shake. “Hey there Mr. Grimes. It's nice to finally meet you.”

“You too.” Rick angles his attention back to Toni. “What did you mean perimeter check? How bad is it?” Toni gives him a sad smile as she sits down to explain everything the best she can while digging through the bedside drawer for a tube of the protein paste for Rick to eat. She goes on to explain what she's discovered about the Pandemic, all the stages that it comes in, that everyone is a carrier so no matter how you die you will turn. He is quiet, slightly disbelieving until they help him up and shuffle to the window. 

From there he can see the damage of an explosion a few floors up and the line of body bags in the parking lot. Toni points out a person walking near the road. Tells him to wait and pay close attention. As the man gets closer Rick can start to see that something is wrong. The man's arm is hanging loosely by skin and muscle. He can see intestines trailing after him. Toni catches him as he finches back. “My wife. My son. I've got to go. I can't -”

“Don't worry Mr. Grimes. You'll find them and we will help you.” Peter helps guide him back to the bed. “First though you've gotta eat. You need strength. Would you like to get cleaned up? Oh we found some clothes that should fit.” Peter rambles, trying to help Rick focus on something else but the shock of the world he's woken up into. When Toni brings up the fact that he is too weak to go just yet and that they have to wait till he can manage to walk down the hall and back Rick isn't pleased but he listened and eventually agreed abet grudgingly to give himself a few days to gather his strength.

Toni sat back watching Peter and Rick as Rick keeps deadpanning dad humor to make Peter foam at the mouth, over the last few days they've discovered he's stubborn and snark filled with a really dry wit so they all get on like a house on fire. _ It makes her miss Rhodey, _ she thinks he would like Rick. J is a running commentary in her ear about the dangers in the area using the drones that she had repurposed from the outpost. The crown jewel was the vehicle that she had found, _ downright giddy _that they actually had it, was a modified APC Sentry with the cow catcher attachment with most of the seating replaced to turn it into a makeshift RV and the matching half full storage trailer attached sitting all pretty in a back corner hidden behind a command trailer. Her and Js theory is that it was supposed to be an escape pod for one of the crooked higher ups, regardless it was perfect and ridiculously impossible to believe it was there. 

She was waiting for the moment Murphy's law kicked in because getting that ridiculously lucky had to have a price. “When you're ready we can go. Do you want to go to your house first? Get some of your actual clothes and stuff?”

Rick nodded gratefully. His southern drawl prominent as he thanked them again. Asking more questions while he tried to force the disgusting paste down. Toni and Peter both answered what they could. Their speech flowing around and with each other brought a smile to his lips. They had to be mother and son, they acted way too much like each other for them not to be. Soon Toni excused herself to finalize the packing of the SUV and trailer. Telling Peter to clear out the room of supplies. Though she hadn't gone far enough to not hear the “_ Your mom sure is something ain't she?” _ and the sputtered reply “ _ Yeah Mr. Grimes. She's not my mother by blood but yeah she is. More than anyone realizes.” “Call me Rick kid.” “Okay Mr. Rick!” _

She grins all the way down to the car. J's code a contently amused hum in the back of her mind.


	3. Country Roads Take Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick meets JARVIS and learns a bit about Toni's past before he makes it home to an empty house. Morgan and Duane enter stage left. Toni discovers a devastating abnormality in the timeline. Peter and Rick have a talk. Morgan's grief. Crows cause problems. Murphy's law comes back around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all this is the chapter that we start seeing the ripples from Toni and Peter’s Dynamic Entry and this is the start of things sliding into AU territory.

##  ** _Chapter Three: Country Roads Take Me Home_ **

**(Rick meets JARVIS and learns a bit about Toni's past before he makes it home to an empty house. Morgan and Duane enter stage left. Toni discovers a devastating abnormality in the timeline. Peter and Rick have a talk. Morgan's grief. Crows cause problems. Murphy's law comes back around.)**

Rick didn't know what to think at first and over the last couple of days since he woke up hasn't cleared anything up for him. This tiny woman was undeniably the most enchanting creature he'd ever seen. She took up so much space to be so _ itty bitty _. He felt immediately guilty for finding her attractive. He was married, even if he and Lori hadn't spoken unless she was picking an argument in a long time. 

Her son, Peter was a good kid regardless if he didn't think he was actually seventeen. They were the kind of parent-child relationship ideal to reach for. That he hoped he and Carl could have as he got older. And good Lord the sass that those two sling, it was almost like their own language.

All this aside _something_ _was_ _off_. 

Call it the gut instinct of being a cop so long but they didn't act like a couple of civilians dropped into a dangerous situation, which from what Rick can understand is basically what happened since everything seemingly fell quickly leaving those left to learn that to survive they had to adapt with a very small margin for error.

But Toni acted like one of the soldiers that had seen real conflict in a war. Peter was eerily hyper vigilant too. The smallest sounds caught both of their attentions. The one thing that stuck out the most and he had only caught it out of the corner of his eye was how effortlessly they lifted and moved things that he _ knew _ were heavy enough it should make them at least strain. They weren't even trying to hide it really, they were casual about it and if he wasn't so observant he wouldn't have registered for him that it wasn't normal.

He watched Toni give Peter hand signs as they made it to the end of the hall. _ Hand signs he knew were military standard that Peter understood _ as they both slowed down letting Toni take point. He'd seen them use actual ASL before too when they were debating science and started literally talking with their hands when they got really into it. He understood why they had used military standard when they made it to the end. The spray painted doors were glaringly, terrifying _ wrong _. He must have made some small sound because the doors rocked slowly like something was leaning against it. The chain rattled as they strained and fingers started to claw at the handles.

Toni put her fingers to her lips and slipped ahead toward the stairs speaking when they had closed the door behind them. “J says the coast is clear for now but we won't be for long.”

He waited till they made it to the very surprising tactical vehicle. Now completely understanding her earlier bouncy attitude about it since if he felt a tiny bit better he probably would have been too. 

“Who's J?” The question laid down a heavy silence from the two. “Look. As far as I'm concerned, the both of you've saved my life. I don't care if you are way too well adjusted for this place or somehow stronger than you ought to be. Honestly it makes me feel better knowing that you are that much more capable. The dead are up walking around why wouldn't other things have changed too?”

Toni sighed muttering under her breath about _ fucking cops and their damn observation skills _ that makes Rick bite back a laugh before looking over to Peter and having a absolutely silent but no less complex conversation with facial expression, flailing hands, and eyebrow twitching. _ Then they both nod at the same time _and turn to look at him. 

“This is all highly classified, at least before everything, it would have been. Jarvis is my AI. Artificial Intelligence and he had been with me for a very long time but only like he is now because…” She pauses and Rick can visually _ see _ her bracing against what she is about to say. “Something happened to me a few years ago. Something bad and I had figured out the equations to a faulty serum and fixed it. I never intended to use it but...” 

She breaks off, booting up the computer as hesitantly Peter speaks, finishing the story while never looking away from Toni. As though if he lets her out of his sight she'll vanish. “She was_ attacked. Hurt _ . Technically she died for a little while. It wasn't-it never should have happened. They never should've-But she survived extremis. It made her better. _ Stronger _. They won't be able to hurt her now.”

‘_ OH. Now he gets it. She did vanish even if it was just for a moment. Even if she came back to him as more. His mother figure was still almost lost to him over something that went terribly wrong after he had already lost family before.’ _

Toni takes a deep breath and holds out her hand as the gauntlet slides over her skin. She can hear Rick's intake of breath but he doesn't flinch back, _ he leans forward. _ Shocking Toni as he _ comes closer _ as if the armor pulling itself up from her bones is wonderful. He reaches out, obvious in his desire to touch but stops, _ hesitating _ until she nods her consent. Carefully like she's _ fragile, _ and isn't that a novel experience for her, he cradles her hand in his. Turning it ever so gently he slides his hand over the joints around her wrists. _ Almost reverently _ he links their hands _ . _

Concern heavy in his voice.“Does it hurt to do that?” When she smiles and shakes her head he runs his hands along her fingers, against her skin as she let the armor sink back to rest deep in her bones. “I'm sorry that this happened to you. But I'm glad you're safe now because I would probably be dead without you. Is it just gloves?”

Toni takes a minute to unpack this impossibly pleasant and surprisingly honest statement even as something in her whispers _ MINE _before she answers. “Its full armor. I built it a little over ten years ago. Well the first incarnation anyway. It also, don't laugh, gave me the ability to control electronics.”

Peter barks out a laugh.” She's a technomage! It's awesome! And that's just one thing she can do. My story sounds like a comic book plot in comparison. I was on a school field trip to this company that specializes in boundary pushing sciences. I ended up in the wrong room with genetically altered radioactive spiders and got bit. Yeah I know it's ridiculous.” Rick's face has cycled through a number of comically exaggerated emotions as he has watched as Peter used his entire body to tell his story. But Toni is giggling at the both of them so it's worth hamming up the story a bit. The quicksilver smile Peter throws him for playing along makes him grin.

“Yeah, so Hi! I'm your friendly neighborhood Spiderman! Oh! And my I present the Iron Queen, earth's best defender.” Peter does the very best Vanna White impression he can. Wade would be so very proud. Rick grins widens into a laughing smile. “Oh no, I've been with royalty this whole time? My son is going to have a fit. He loves comics. You'll have to tell him stories when we find them.”

Toni returns his grin as she nods to him, happy that he has hope. That he's staying positive. “So kemosabe, where might your house be? I don't know where I'm going.” He tells her she's still going the right way and to turn left at the third stop sign. They continue on in companionable silence. Peter's eyes are shifting between the two in the seats in front of him. _ God he hopes Wade's right. _

~ * ~

As they pull into the drive Toni reaches out with a tendril of energy to find the garage control and activates it, smoothly pulling in. “Oh wow is that how it works? That's amazing Toni. I bet that comes in handy, I would have loved to have seen what you could do before.”

Rick is flirting just a little. _ He knows. _ But it really is very impressive. Not to mention the way she reacts, all pleased surprise makes him want to keep doing it. With a subtle questioning eyebrow to Peter, that he answers with a nod, he decides that he will. After she escapes the cab to start clearing the neighbors yard since they can't close the garage due to the size of the SUV and the trailer. 

He decides that while flirting might be off the table he'll make sure to let her know he appreciates and is grateful for all she does. Following after them when they give the all clear since they refuse to let him help until more of his strength returns. While his pride might be just a bit ruffled he understands. He hasn't done a single damn thing but walk down two flights of stairs and he is already tired. His eyes take in the obviously empty house his mind snags that something is missing until it clicks. “Pictures frames.”

Toni makes a questioning noise in her throat as he moves to the bookcase in the living room. “The pictures are gone. All the photo albums. _ Gone _. They got out.” 

Toni stops next to him, resting her hand on his arm. “Okay. Okay then what we'll do is search the house and take anything that we can. They probably only brought enough for a short period of time since the government was supposed to take care of everything. Do you need a minute first?

Rick shook his head.” I'm okay. What about the attic loft? Lori always packs the winter stuff up there. Coats, boots, heavy blankets. Things like that and there are probably some camping stuff too. There's a garden shed next to the back porch. I figure if you can build something like your armor you'd be able to use the stuff in there to keep us from using guns? Oh we should go by the sheriff's station the cage should be at least half full and there should be other equipment that could be useful?”

He looks down toward Toni as he shifts closer into her space, all hopeful and happy to be helpful. _To show _that he's grateful. That he accepts them as they are. The warm smile she gives him as she squeezes his arm is almost too much so he returns the smile and turns to his _and his wife's, _he reminds himself, bedroom to start packing everything he can while Toni and Peter take other rooms, leaving Rick to gather his family belongs.

It's barely an hour later that they hear glass breaking and an echoing thump of the front door slamming that have them up and down from the attic. They open the door to a gunshot and Rick laying on the ground with two people over him, the one with a gun aimed at Rick. Toni doesn't stop even if she knows what happened, Rick is one of hers now. No one harms what's hers, as she brings up the gun that was tucked into the small of her back. “Drop it! Right the fuck now!”

The man turns slowly, sliding around to put himself between her and his son. She points the gun down as Peter lifts an unconscious Rick up. “Look, I'm sorry. The-the wound. It's not a bite?”

”No. Gunshot from before. He was in a coma, woke up a couple of days ago. Now come on back in the house. The dead are gonna be on us from that shot.” she gives him a glare as she holsters her gun and he has the decency to be sheepish about it. Peter already has Rick in the house and moving to his room. The father and son follow behind Toni, irritated she turns using the best tone and body language that terrifies the board. “I'm Toni. The one the kid brained is Rick, this is his house. The other is Peter, my son. You do something to either of them while you're here I will end you and it will not be quick nor painless, just so we are clear. And you are?”

“Morgan. Morgan Jones. This is my son, Duane. I'm sorry my son hit him and that I shot the gun. It was a mistake, I wasn't thinking. The world isn't a place to trust too freely nowadays.” Morgan smiles not even phased by the threat like that from another parent, shrugging at his explanation which if Toni is honest isn't wrong. “Nice to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances. Help me cover the windows?”

And so it goes. They secure the house as best they can while they wait for Rick to wake up again and for the dead to move on. Toni figures she will make some kind of distraction when she finds out which direction would be better to send them to. For now she will wait at Rick's bedside for him to wake up to find out what happened. She finds a picture of him and his wife on the ground, thrown against the wall and left there and the crumpled papers from an open drawer that she guesses the picture was from. 

Picking the papers up her eyes catch on the words ‘_ Divorce’ _ and she freezes. Eyes widening she starts to read trying to gauge from the date when they had been filed against the timeline she had gotten from the CDC of the outbreak. She thinks it might be two or three weeks before he was shot and _ oh it was signed in absentia while he was in a coma. _

She pauses to breathe looking away from the papers as J tells her he has the perimeter covered, that he will take care of the dead when her eyes catch on the open drawer that also had opened condom boxes. She closes her eyes, _ That means it wasn't just Shane. _ She sighs dropping to sit on the bed trying to think what she would want if she was in Rick's place so she reaches out her hand finding his, she can't fix it but she can at least do this so he won't wake up alone. Therapy has surprised her with how helpful it had made for interacting with other people. She almost wished it hadn't taken a teammates attempt to murder her for her family to be able to talk her into going. Even as the betrayal hits so close to home that she can feel her eyes burning in sympathy, in understanding of how deep a wound like that can hit.

~ * ~

Rick comes to painfully. Things slightly disjointed, he feels a hand in his and knows it's not Lori. It's not delicate enough no matter how small and feminine it is. Too strong and callused, _ Toni _. With that everything comes crashing back. His breath hitching as an entirely different pain rolls over him.

Rage. Betrayal. Heartbreak. 

A small voice says he doesn't have to feel guilty over finding Toni attractive now. Even if he won't act on it. He's not married anymore. His eyes burn but he can't,_ he won't _ cry over it _ . _It's then he notices that Toni is singing under her breath, the soft foreign language he thinks is maybe Italian, it sounds like a lullaby. Her voice fades off when he squeezes her hand and she looks up at him, eyes slightly red rimmed just like he knows his own are. Paper crinkled in her other hand as she gives him a mournful smile as he tells her exactly how many weeks before the papers were filed and that they were completed four days after he was shot and in a coma. 

Asks if she had read the second page and tells her when she shakes her head no that she wanted full custody of Carl, that she tried to keep him from even getting visitation. The lawyer and judge that did it all grew up with her. That he and Lori haven't used condoms since they got married. That he had suspected something after she started picking more and more fights but only on certain dates and times. That she seemed happier when he picked up more hours at work or pulled double shifts.

After his voice trails off, she starts telling a story about a girl in love. How she had loved them most of her life. The death of the man she called father and how one of them lied to her about knowing the other had done it, though was brainwashed at the time. How he had told her what horrors had happened to his friend and taken all that she offered to help find him. That when the lie came to light he had _ murdered her _ when she saw the video and reacted to the _ horrific truth _. How they abandoned her bleeding out in Siberia. She tells him she is with him and holding his hand tightly says nothing else. 

Tears that he couldn't let fall for himself, he will _ for her. _ This amazing woman who saved him, who hasn't asked anything from him, who now understands how much this hurts. The betrayal that he didn't see coming and the anger of it all. His thoughts never strayed far from worry for his son, for his wife. _ Ex wife _ . He has to focus on breathing for a minute, doing his best to rein in his anger because it will do him no good right now. _ But he didn't know what he's gonna do. Where things will go from here. _

He didn't realize he spoke aloud until Toni answers him. Tells him what she did and how she managed to eventually be able to move forward. How she had help, had people with her, and that they will be with him now. That he wouldn't be alone.

Toni's eyes track back to his face. “_ That her therapist told her to find one little thing a week at first, then twice a week, to every day. Just one small thing that made her happy or brought a moment of peace. _ And God Rick, I raged at that for the longest. I wanted the safety of it, of the betrayal but fuck me they were right and it worked.” Rick makes a questioning sound low in his throat when she trails off with a soft smile on her face. Toni launches into a story about DUM-E and glitter and her poor favorite Austin Martin that was the causality making both of them cackle when she declares glitter the herpes of the craft world. They continue talking about happy things, memories Rick has of hilarious things Carl has done and Toni all her children robotic and fleshy alike. When she makes the comment that Rhodey has an entire ass mental block on Delaware of all places she can barely breathe from laughing. Things shift to include other stories before it devolves from there into hypothetical plans of how Rick could deal with seeing Lori again, each one getting more and more convoluted. 

Movement catches on the corner of his eye and he sees Peter leaning against the door. He's angry. _ Wrathful, _ but it's a banked anger that even more dangerous because that means it's a patient anger _ . _ His eyes are steady as he looks at him and mouths _ ‘thank you’ _ before bringing his finger to his lips. Before he backs up and makes a purposeful stumble into the doorframe. “How are you feeling Mr. Rick? Mom dinners just about done. Mr. Morgan and Duane are helping load up anything useful that they can find after I told them what we were doing. Figured they could use some of it too.”

Peter doesn't wait for an answer. Rick guesses that he must have been there for a while and could hear everything for which he's glad. He won't have to repeat it again. Not for a while at least. Toni stands up offering a hand down to him, smiling as he takes it. Vertigo hits as soon as he's standing and Toni is just suddenly _ there. _A blazing hot line the length of his body where she presses herself into his side and under his arm where she fits like she's always belonged there. He curled the arm she's under around her shoulders, pulling her closer letting the lie of dizziness be the reason he did it. But he's pretty sure she knows anyway.

~ * ~

Dinner is a quiet affair. Morgan can tell something happened. Something that seemed to unmoor the man, Rick, but he won't ask. In this world it happens more than it ought. He would know. He just hopes that his wife hasn't joined the ones that have wandered closer to the house, drawn there by the sound of the gun. Toni he finds is a very intelligent woman. Much like her son, they both very obviously adore kids and are telling great big long yarns to keep Duane distracted after a car alarm goes off down the street. 

After another story of science shenanigans that has them all snickering Peter, with a speaking look, tempts Duane over to the living room to play board games. “What's your plan? We are heading to Atlanta and you can come with us, we'll help keep your son safer.”

Morgan's eyes slip shut before he starts telling them about his wife and what happened, why they are hunkered down. That his wife is probably standing outside the door right now and he can't leave her like that but he can't bare to raise a hand against her. Even if she's not his wife anymore. “And you shouldn't have to. I would never want someone that loves me to be the one to do that.”

Toni's voice is soft but unyielding with unspoken promise. Morgan can see that she means every word when he meets her eyes and it's everything in him not to cry with relieved shame. No one says anything as he gets up and makes his way to the bedroom that he and his son had claimed. Rick and Toni share a long look before going over everything about the station one more time as they start cleaning up and locking the house down so they can get a few hours of sleep. Before Toni and Peter can start bedding down in the living room Rick tells them to take his room, that he can't stay in there as he makes his way toward his sons room.

It's not until everyone has found their beds for the night that Peter asks into the quiet darkness of the bedroom. “Mom, Icarus?”

Toni smiles softly and begins spinning the ever familiar tale again. She's learned that Peter only ever asks on bad days. On days that have been long and stressful or that something potentially fatal could have happened. She thinks it is because of what happened the day he heard it the first time. That the story of Icarus is coincided with the aftershock of it. She would tell him Icarus every night if he wanted but she thinks this might work better for him. _ Make it more _ like Edwin Jarvis did for her all those years ago.

~ * ~

Morning comes sluggishly, the household still as the only one up is Rick. Nightmarish what ifs, worse case scenarios to how he would find his son woke him at nearly three am with a scream lodged in his throat. He takes the time to go back over the house. To dig into places personals were kept. Little stashes of things that needed to be hidden from Carl. In one such place he hits the jackpot when there's one large unopened mix bag of chocolate. 

As he makes his way back down into the living room he stumbles onto Toni reaching impossibly deep into her pack cursing under her breath about coffee. He tries, he really does, not to laugh but the image she makes is so outlandish that he can't stop once he starts. When she looks up and honest to God hisses at him its over and all he can do is hold his ribs when he laughs so hard he can't breathe. “Rick I don't think we can be friends if you're a morning person. It's against a personal rule of mine.”

He holds up the bag of candy like a shield and peace offering, only to nearly stop breathing from laughing so hard at the grabby hands Toni gives him. When he is finally able to speak he promises he really isn't, that he woke up under protest near three and couldn't get back to sleep. Toni hums knowingly around the different candy bars she has nearly inhaled and by then she's found what he guesses is a coffee machine but he's not too sure. It looks vaguely like a coffee maker he thinks, if he tilts his head and squints. But when she sets it on the kitchen counter and presses all the buttons in some sequence he can't follow the intoxicating scent of brewing coffee fills the air. He groans, he hadn't realized he missed it until this moment and Toni is giving him a smug grin when she cuts her eyes to him. “Your welcome. Where are the mugs cause I need the biggest one you have?”

Already in a better mood he sidesteps to open a cabinet and pulls out a handled soup bowl and his favorite cup before handing them over. Her lips quirk even as lone raised eyebrow judges him. “What? You said biggest I have. Next biggest thing with a handle is probably a mixing bowl.”

Rick just continues to smile pleasantly under her narrowing gaze. “Your a little shit aren't you?”

“No ma'am. Whatever have you that idea?” Toni just hums low in her throat at his exaggerated southern drawl before filling the soup bowl to the brim and then his before leaning back with it under her chin, eyes closed blissfully after her first sip.

They get maybe five minutes of companionable quiet before Peter springboards off three separate walls and into the room. Eyes large and hopeful as he whines out ‘coffee?’ Like he knows it's not something he would get but can't help but ask. When the flat no comes out of Toni's mouth he turns up the puppy eyes as he turns to him and Rick wants to say yes just to make him stop because that's an unfair advantage but thankfully Toni relents with allowing him a tiny teacup sized portion and absolutely no sugar because she was _ not _ about to deal with a more hyper than normal Peter. She _ learned _after the first time.

After her first mug she starts on breakfast as Morgan and Duane make there way in. She smiles at Rick when he sets the refilled cup by the stove before he turns back to Morgan to go over what they want to accomplish today. Something small and warm curling up in her chest as she eats.

“So what's your plan Morgan? Do you want to go with us or would you rather us help you secure something here until we can get eyes on Atlanta and see what the situation is? It shouldn't take us long. A week at most if something goes wrong. We'll get you bunked down with enough supplies so you won't have to leave while you wait.”

  


~ * ~

Toni is getting back in the vehicle after they had made it to the house Morgan had made camp that it hits her. It had been prickling at the edge of her thoughts, the easy way both Rick and Morgan both listened to her and took what she said at face value. That when she spoke she wouldn't be immediately dismissed or have to be defensive. That she realizes that all the things she's lived with, all that everyone has ever believed of her didn't follow her here. It's liberating and depressing by turns. _ She's never letting Rhodey know how well therapy is working for her because she'll never hear the end of the I told you so’s. _

She literally had to fall into a new reality before people listened to her, before who she is as a person had come before what she is as the legacy of Howard Stark. And then there is the terrifyingly easy way she and Rick get along, how it feels like something in her has been waiting for him to find her. How they flow around each other after only days like they've known one another for a lifetime. For the simple fact that it feels _ right _ down to her very soul worries her in the fact that it doesn't make her want to run and makes her wonder if in another life her and _ them _ could have had this, could have become this one day. 

“_ Mother, that they could not see you as you truly are only means they never deserved the gift that is your love. That Officer Grimes can already tell that you are preciously rare speaks well of him and so very horribly of the others.” _ J's words whispered in Toni's ear settle deeply in her, his code radiating truth and love with just the tiniest bit of bitter anger, he's a Stark after all.

She's pulled out of her thoughts, blinking back to reality as Peter opens the door behind her seat, it gives her only a moment to breathe before Rick joins them. She checks that Morgan's car is behind her as she pulls away from the curb before she turns to Rick. “So Officer Grimes where to now?”

The easy grin he gives her as he rattles off directions makes her smile too. It's nice she thinks, just being Toni Stark. If it wasn't for the walking dead she might would enjoy it more. 

She continues to listen as Rick tells her and Peter little stories about the town he grew up in, pointing out places and such. They listen, knowing what he's doing is as much a distraction for him as it is them, that after last night they have set a foundation in that close knit shared trauma kinda way. That no matter how well he seems to be doing the blow he was dealt yesterday was a deep and jagged thing aimed to scar horribly. Toni knows personally how deep it can be and how hard it is to want to allow it to heal.

When they make it a block away she sends J ahead via an armada of drones that detach from the trailer roof. When J reports the all clear that she can confirm from the monitor she pulls up to the station and loops around to check exits first before parking in the back and out of sight. Luckily there's very few of the dead and it takes no real effort to dispatch them and clear the entire building.

The weapons cage has a lot more than Rick expected which makes him think that things fell early here and he hopes most got out before that. Toni's voice breaks him out of his thoughts before they can spiral too much. “Where is your evidence lock up?”

He leads the way down the hall towards what looks like a locked closet. “Here. It's not too big but what were you hoping to find?”

“Nothing specific. Just figured there could be useful bits and things I can alter. I'm sure there are some illegal modified weapons since it's such a rural area. Not to mention illegal drugs that could be very useful now. Can't hurt to check right?” Toni is already surveying everything she can see. “Well you're not wrong. Those would be back there in that cage and if they haven't gotten rid of it after I was shot there are indeed some silencers and sawed offs, no telling what else. Medications and other drugs would be there too.” Rick points out the area of the locked cage and turns back to Toni with mischief dancing in his smile.

“But why don't we come back to it? I was hoping to surprise you. The showers probably still work and since it's got its own propane tank we should still have hot water.” Rick has Toni's complete attention, just the thought of a shower is heavenly, she doesn't care if its even cold just being really clean would be amazing so she latches onto his arm with a pleading smile. “Yes please. I can't tell you how happy that would make me to be clean, I mean yeah I've dealt with worse and gone longer but if I don't have to its a good day. No telling when the next time I'll get a chance. Let's do that.”

Rick can't help the bit of smug preening he does internally at the look of near bliss Toni has at the thought of a hot shower. She is already poking at him, getting him to move and he knows better than to keep a lady waiting so he leads the way and helps her ransack the women's locker room. She gives him a soft smile as she thanks him when he leaves her to tell the others, he can't quite help the glance back when he hears her laughter as the water turns on. All he can see is the long tail of her braid that she's unwound from its bun that reaches just past the swell of her hips. It's the first time he's seen her without the long red jacket and he can see just how curvy she is now. He watches as the braid starts unweaving before he turns back and flees, something heavy burning in his chest. He finds Peter first, tells him about the showers and Toni in the women's locker room before finding Morgan and leading the way to the men's locker room. 

Toni smiles, nearly melting at the feeling of hot water running over her. She listens to the echoing sounds of happiness as the boys find the showers. She doesn't want to move. She just wants to take this moment of mundane and freeze it. Keep it just for a little bit but she is done and they have so much to do before the day is done so she just like she told Rick she counts it as her one small thing of the day and with great reluctance she leaves the bliss of the hot water and begins herculean task of managing her hair as she listens to J's continued all clear as he circles with a drone high above. _ “Miss? How will the change of Rick finding the divorce papers affect Canon? How much can time fluctuate without it fracturing into unknown territory?” _

_ ‘I don't think it will. Everything is already shifted. That with us being here in the first place it is adjusting around us. The divorce papers probably existed already but Rick didn't look through everything at his house as thoroughly so they were never found. This time he wasn't clueless about the state of things so gathering as much as he could for his family was the practical choice.’ _J’s coding hmms thoughtfully in the back of her mind, she can feel him turning the idea over before his agreement settles solidly through him before he continues reporting his findings or lack thereof from the drones.

She feels slightly paranoid but she knows that the worst that humanity can offer will rear its head under normal daily circumstances so the pressures of surviving in a fallen society will mean that people will become even more creative in their cruelty, knows it's Canon so it's a fact even if all that was shown was the barely scratch of the surface. Oh but Toni didn't need to try too hard to imagine what horrid creative things that will bloom in the madness that this new reality. 

_ It's never been a question of if but _ ** _when._**

But there isn't anything that can be done right now but do her best to prepare for the worst case scenarios so with that thought she makes her way back toward the evidence lock-up and starts diving through the inventory records, making notes on everything that she thinks will be useful. Deciding to go through everything she can before she starts on the cage. 

It's Duane that finds her later separating random things into different piles. He has come to a stop just inside the door as he looks around at the chaos. Toni smiled up at him from the floor. “You okay there, gum drop? Anyone need something?”

All Toni gets is a shy head shake as his eyes slide across everything curiously. Toni can feel her mouth twitch into a smile as she asks if he wants to help and the kid lights up. 

~ * ~

Peter finds Rick alone at what he guesses was his desk running his hands over something that vaguely looked like a stetson. “Thank you. For what you said to mom and not freaking out on the way to your house yesterday. For sharing those happy memories last night. She's really not used to people being genuine to her. They always want something from her. Like Rogers, he wanted to find his best friend and used everything of hers he could all the while knowing Barnes had murdered her dad. I don't think she would have cared if it had only been her biological parents but the man who raised her. The man who loved her and supported her, it was unforgivable. Rogers demanded trust and having no secrets. They all blamed her for everything. The last people she allowed herself to love actively attempted to _ murder her _ ** _and I will not allow it to happen again._ **”

Peter looks away for a moment before holding Rick's gaze again. “You don't deserve to be hurt again either.”

Rick doesn't speak. Doesn't try to offer any empty words. Just holds Peter's gaze steadily and nods. Peter returns the nod and turns to leave, as he reached the doorway Rick spoke. “I don't think either of us are in the right place for that considering. But-but I think both of us could use another friend right now. One that doesn't doesn't expect things from her, she deserves that at the least and so much more. Maybe...maybe one day. After I've been able to find my son and if Lori is alive get some closure.”

And just like that Peter's voice returns to normal from the somber resonance of someone that's experienced far too much. “That's a good idea Mr. Rick. I'm going to go find mom and we can get ready to go do that. As much as I won't let someone hurt her like that again, I don't think you would.” with that Peter is gone and Rick breathes deeply. He feels like he was weighed or tested and somehow passed. 

He might never do more than lightheartedly flirt with Toni. But he knows she will make a wonderful friend and if that's all she ever wants then it'll be enough.

When he makes it to evidence and Toni grins up at him from the chaos she's made of the room he thinks _ yeah I'll take whatever she offers. She's too precious to let go of. _“Where might I ask did you find that shirt? It looks awfully similar to my most favorite that I couldn't find before we left.”

Toni looks down plucking at the ancient CCR band shirt as Rick's caveman hindbrain all but purrs at the sight of her in his clothes. “Do you want it back? I'd completely understand. It's very comfortable.” 

“It looks much better on you then it ever did on me.” Rick just shakes his head, grin wide and happy as he gestures to the room at large, intentionally turning his head as Toni's face shifts once again into pleased surprise at the genuine compliment. “So what exactly is the method to this madness?”

Toni cocks an amused eyebrow even as her smirk softens into a delighted smile as she starts explaining how she had organized things as Duane comes back in the room with empty duffle bags in his arms to start loading it up. As soon as the first couple of bags are full Rick snags it as he asked where she wants it before making his way out to the trailer and Morgan's car. He passes Morgan on his way and offers to set up a bit of gun practice before they go, make sure that they will be fine until they join them in Atlanta.

Toni finds him in the side alley setting up targets after J gave the all clear. Peter trails behind in a sulk, mumbling about Wade making sure he was a good shot and he didn't need to practice and if he had to she should too, and ‘_ that no building weapons didn't count’ _. Toni just patted him on the head, fond and amused before surveying the mix of pistols, shotguns and rifles on the makeshift table before settling on one of the long range rifles, checking the sights before leaning against the brick to watch. Rick ruthlessly pushes down the whimper he wants to make at the picture she unconsciously presents. She had shrugged on that long red jacket again over his t-shirt and wearing that alone hadn't been playing fair so with the jacket it he had to try really hard not to embarrass himself. 

Rick patiently explains things out to Morgan and Duane. Demonstrates proper hold and fluid firing before letting them practice. Calling out corrections and praise as they get better. He turns to look at Toni and Peter gesturing towards the targets when Morgan and his son finish. Toni pushes Peter forward snarking about proving that Wilson had taught him anything and _ oh _ Rick knows that look. That's the look of someone knowing that they are being taunted but still going to prove it anyway. And prove it he does, whoever Wilson is did a damn fine job teaching him but the look he turns back to Toni with makes him bite into his cheek, he can read the _ I told you so _ and the _ think you can do better? _all over it.

Toni just sighs before shouldering her rifle, breathing out and firing, two shots per target both bullseyes before shouldering the rifle again and pulling her handgun and repeating the same shots. Before he can say anything about how very impressed that he is, and slightly aroused but he wouldn't tell her that bit, her gaze tracks something further out as he's learned she does while listening to JARVIS. She turns back toward the main road as she broke into a sprint telling Morgan and Duane to stay put, please, _ they don't need to see this _ that Rick suddenly knows exactly what JARVIS has seen and relayed so he follows, catching sight of red leather as she rounds the corner. By the time he makes it to her she's climbed the fence and perched on the top as she brings her gun up again and fires. And fires. _ And fires. _

Seven put to rest including Morgan's wife. The choked sob behind him tells him that the father and son had followed anyway, that they saw everything.

He can tell the moment Toni hears them, the moment she realizes that they saw it and scrambles down from the fence. Rick turns too but all he sees is the slam of the door where Morgan and Duane have already gone back inside. Toni comes to stand next to him whispering. “I didn't want them to see. I didn't want them to remember her like that.”

Rick doesn't answer with words, he only raises the arm she's by and pulls her into his side loosely so she can pull away if she wishes. She doesn't, she leans in and stays.

~ * ~

The next morning dawns bright and unreasonably cheery for a dystopian hellscape. Toni is ready to go, had been for hours now. Her and Morgan had talked. He wasn't happy but he understood, was grateful for what she did even if he was so very angry at the necessity of it all. Grief wasn't reasonable or rational so Toni knows when they see each other again they'll be okay, that it won't be so fresh and Morgan will have had time to mourn properly.

Toni walks the house again, checking things already checked and checked again. J was dutifully going over things with her. She had set up a computer and some drones to give Morgan another level of safety. Morgan and his son should be safe for a while until they join them, the mid sized RV they found would make things much easier to travel with even more so with the work she had put into it.

She hears soft footsteps behind her and turns to find Peter, still sleep rumpled as he holds out one of those foul high calorie nutrition paste tubes they had found at the hospital, snickering as she wrinkled her nose up at it. 

Higher metabolisms sucked. 

But still she eats it, under protest even as J lists all the facts of why she needs it because _ he is her son and therefore is a little shit _ and she's so proud of him.

“When are we planning to head out? Is there anything else we need to pack?” Peter is looking around the room as he mumbled his questions, not completely functioning yet. “After breakfast and no we've got everything that can be packed done. I finished the last of the safety precautions a couple of hours ago. Rick's car is ready as it will get without modifying it like I did the Sentry or Morgan's RV. Is anyone else up yet?”

“No they are all still sleeping. I'll go wake Mr. Morgan and Duane if you'll wake Mr. Rick?” Peter is already turned and walking away before she can answer. Toni is starting to think he's trying to play matchmaker or something. It could be that since she and Rick had such a positive reaction to each other and that they had clicked together so seamlessly, that even Peter couldn't help but notice, Peter only wanted her to have another adult friend instead of either the baby bots or actual fleshy kids. Which is true that she doesn't get much adult conversation that isn't _ Science! _ or business related. Toni sighs as she pushes it from her mind for now.

Rick's one of hers now so until things change, until she's betr- _ No. NO. Not everyone is like _ ** _them_ ** _ . She won't let them dictate her life, she won't allow the memories of what could have been and the ashes of the dream she nurtured to strangle her anymore. Especially Rick. _

Wong's quiet words play through her mind, the knowledge of how the fabric of existence flows and ebbs. How the Ancient One had once told him of the foundation threads that are carried from generation to generation and how they are tested, how any of the threads that come in contact with it must also be tested to ensure that they can anchor the foundation. That few pass the unrelenting war that is the trial of being tempered into an anchor. That fewer still that survive the intractable agony being wholly reforged anew, to carry the legacy title that is one of the Chosen. 

Toni has to forcibly push her thoughts away from those memories. _ ‘It's too damn early for thoughts that deep.’ _

She calms as she breathes out and continues toward Rick's room, J is silent but she can feel the comfort and strength he sends her settling warmly against her heart. She breathes again before knocking lightly before opening the door a crack to call out. After she hears something that sounds vaguely alive she ducks into the room to check on his bandage and make sure Rick is actually awake before handing over another grotesque nutrition tube. She can't completely stop herself from running a hand through his hair where is standing up in all directions, smiling when he sleepily leans into the touch even as his nose wrinkles at the tube. “Time to get up sleeping beauty we've got a long couple of days ahead of us.”

Later that morning when they've left Morgan and Duane miles behind in what she prays is somewhere reasonably safe and she's leading the way toward Atlanta that they come upon a pile up across the road. The Sentry could force its way through but the police cruiser can squeeze through easier first. Stepping out of the vehicle to get a better look before she relayed this to Rick and is now watching as he gets clear of the wreckage when the ambush hits them. 

The repulsor blast barks and the truck that pinned Rick in explodes back and into two other trucks that were trying to converge on him, a second later and she screams into the walkie to ‘_ GO! That they will meet up in the city. Checkpoint A. _’ Toni watches as he goes protesting in her ear the whole time but he still guns the car dutifully following the plan by flipping on the lights and siren as he goes to hopefully draw the dead away from them as she fires both repulsors at the trucks.

The pinging of bullets registers near her a second later and the armor continues to slide over her even as she tells Peter to take the wheel and turn it around. J is calmly listing everything he sees from the vantage point from weapons to formation to enemy location as she leans back and can feel the tell-tale vibration of gunfire pauses against the overturned car she's tucked behind and smiles behind her helmet, glowing repulsors whining as she brings them up and then she _ moves. _

She has a moment of dissociation where she wonders if her long red jacket looks as Badass as she thinks it does so she asks Peter. “Hey there my wonderful spider-son! I've got a question...Wade picked out this coat not just for practicality but because of the Badassery Aesthetic, didn't he?”

Her only answer she gets is spoken through a muffled groan. “Because of course he did. _ Its Wade mom!” _

Toni nods distractedly as she grabs a piece of wreckage to throw over a flipped truck to land on top of two of the idiots that pissed her off. She doesn't destroy the vehicles they came in, doesn't waste something that could possibly be useful. Unlike the Carrion Crows these people have become, they are no possible use for them.

It's only after the last vital signature flatlines across the helmets interface that Toni let's the armor slide away before ensuring none of them will turn that she looks back to Peter. He had pulled around and was scanning the perimeter, gun steady and alert before he turns to look at her. Toni can see the clinch of his jaw, before she would have believed that it was at being forced to use lethal action now though it's aimed at the senseless selfish violence humanity has turned to even if this is the first bit of evidence they've personally witnessed they know more will come.

Carrion Crows circling easy prey. Easy anything that they can _ take. _

They are worse than the walkers in every way, they don't actively decide to prey on humanity. 

With the dead it is just instinct.

With the living it is a _ choice _.

Toni takes a moment to just breathe before she tries to contact Rick. To tell him that they are fine and after they check the vehicles they will be on their way to the checkpoint. To be careful because Murphy's law is a bitch and this probably isn't going to be the end of it. Keeps up the conversation as she picks through the Crows belongings. 

She can hear the groaning of the dead, a lot of them, before she sees them starting to break through the undergrowth on the other side of the pile up. So she tells Rick that they are cut off because of the dead, they will be taking an alternate route and they will see him soon.

Rick signs off and Toni tries not to worry too much, even as she drives the opposite way from him. She knows there isn't enough gas to make it all the way to Atlanta in the cruiser and wonders if he'll still be pulling the lone cowboy to make it to Atlanta. Toni sighs as she looks over at Peter and back out at the road before she snarls. “Fuck you Murphy. _ And your fucking law _.”

Peter's laughter isn't at all appreciated and she finds J's fond amusement is downright offensive because seriously fuck Murphy and his fucking law. 


	4. Sabotage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick makes it to Atlanta and finds his son. Lori is confronted. Rick meets the younger Dixion brother and they go back to Atlanta for Merle. Toni and Peter's Dystopian Road Trip. Daryl has manners and isn't amused but maybe slightly impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a happy Halloween! 
> 
> Umm. The next chapter might be a little late. Carl is being a little shit and not cooperating at all. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and have a great weekend!
> 
> Lisha

##  ** _Chapter Four: Sabotage_ **

**(Rick makes it to Atlanta and finds his son. Lori is confronted. Rick meets the younger Dixion brother and they go back to Atlanta for Merle. Toni and Peter's Dystopian Road Trip. Daryl has manners and isn't amused but maybe slightly impressed.)**

Rick breathes heavily through his nose as he floors it. Everything in him protesting but knowing that this is the plan and that he trusts Toni to be safe. He flinches at the sound of the explosion but doesn't falter even as he watches in the rearview mirror as Toni decimated the Raiders. He doesn't let himself feel guilty about the satisfaction he feels watching it. 

With such a clear and obvious threat from the dead it can make you forget that people could be and were a threat long before the world fell. It's sobering and humbling,  _ he's a cop _ he shouldn't have never let himself forget that. 

When Toni's voice comes over the walkie he nearly melts into his seat with relief listening to her rant about people being no better than fucking Carrion Crows which is short-lived when she tells him about the horde and having to take an alternate route to keep the dead from following them into the city. He agrees to meet at the checkpoint and signs off before they fall out of range.

It takes all of fifteen minutes before he feels the absence. That he registers that this is the first time he's been alone since he woke up. That even in separate vehicles they had kept up conversation. He doesn't like it one bit. Too many things clamor at him like this, too many dark things he'd rather not think about and without anything to distract him there isn't anything to stop it. 

He doesn't know how long he drives in a daze and would have kept going if the car didn't beep a low fuel warning at him.

The convenience store was empty save for what had once been a little girl. His knuckles are white around the bloody knife and he had to tell himself it was a mercy. Toni's words like a balm to him. ‘ _ That one more dead put to rest is one less chance of someone getting bit.’ _ It takes longer than he wants to admit before he can force his hand to unclench from his gun, he can't fire it unless he has no other choice but it will take time for it not to be his first instinct to shoot. He stays the night there in the cruiser and starts again early even if he can only make it another ten miles before it runs completely out of gas and he had to continue on foot.

It's hours later before he comes up on the farm house and the family, then finds the horse after the only truck there is dead. He tries to reach Toni on the walkie when he nears Atlanta, tries to let her know I-85 is clear with no answer and he tries not to worry but the clogged highway leaving the city against the empty lanes entering it makes it more difficult. 

Still the checkpoint is in the city, that's where Toni and Peter are so that where he needs to go. Things become slightly blurred after he fires the gun in the tank, after dealing with the drug addict on top of the roof and wearing walker camouflage. It's not until he's in the back of the box truck and the adrenaline starts to wear off as they leave the city that he realizes that the walkie, the only way to contact Toni and Peter is in his bag that he dropped by the tank. Rick has to focus on breathing through the panic that tries to rise like bile in his throat at the thought of them going into the city that's full of the dead with no warning of the danger. 

By the time they've come to a stop he's convinced himself that they will be fine, that he can trust them to survive because that's what they do. He has just enough time to settle before the doors roll up and sunlight blinds him as he comes stumbling around to the front of the truck. It takes a moment for him to understand the scream, that the kid screaming for  ** _Dad_ ** _ !  _ is Carl and he drops just as his son slams into him.  _ Oh it's his son, it's his little boy, he found him!  _

Rick can feel the tears sliding down his face as he looks up and sees Shane and behind him is Lori. Something dark twists in his chest at Shane's body Language but he ignores it for right now, deciding to go with the idea he and Toni had come up with. He'd wait and see how she wanted to play things and if she would own up to what she'd done. He had the divorce papers all but burning a hole in his pocket and a tiny possibly slightly petty part of him is looking forward to throwing them in her face. 

He buries his face into his son's neck as he swings him up on his hip. Shane makes it to him before Lori so he grabs him by the back of the neck and pulls him into a hug as he thanks him for getting his son out and keeping him safe, that he missed him. Anything else he would have said is cut off as Lori pushes in between him and Shane to cling to his side, crying loudly into his chest and making a big production out of everything. He twists his head to look at Carl when she tries to kiss him.

Rick knows he's being unfair. That even if she had had the divorce pushed through while he was in a coma she wouldn't want him dead but she's acting like she had never done it in the first place. Turning away from her as his name is called he answers the question Shane asks and follows him to meet more people of the camp. 

He leaves Carl at a picnic table with Andrea's little sister and follows Shane as he apologizes for leaving him. That the hospital was a war zone and the machines quit working and he couldn't feel a heartbeat. That since there wasn't a way to get him out that the least he could do was his best to keep his family safe. All Rick can do is smile. “You did good. I'm so grateful that you were there, that you kept my son safe and I can't thank you enough brother.”

Rick can see the tension leave Shane's shoulders as they speak, as Shane talks more about everything that's happened and the routine of the camp. They part ways shortly after, Rick turning back towards the RV and his son. He watches for a moment as Carl laughs, let's the sound wash over him, let's the feeling of knowing his son is alive and safe ground him. Takes it in as his one small thing for the day.

The murmured ‘excuse me’ to his side brings him around to a woman with short gray hair. He can read the timid slant of her posture and locks down the anger that comes from the knowledge of the possibilities of why she is like that so he twists his face into a gentle smile as she says her name is Carol and offers a place to clean up, clean clothes and to wash his for him. Rick's smile settles into something more genuine as she talks, he catches himself thinking Toni will like her and the steel sleeping in her spine.

It's the next morning that Lori catches him just outside of the tent that Carl had dragged him to the night before. She starts doing that crying but not really crying thing when she thinks she's supposed to be upset about something and abruptly Rick is just done. “Why exactly are you crying?”

“I-We thought you were dead. That we would never see you again.” Lori's mood abruptly changes as she closed the distance between them, starts trying to pull him into the tent with her fingers sliding down to touch the skin above the line is his jeans then into them to pull more insistently. Part of Rick almost wants to let it happen, it would be so easy to fall into the same dance they've done for years. Could easily pretend she was someone else but the betrayal is still so fresh and playing pretend won't only hurt himself in the end. So he pulls her hands away from him with a slight shake off his head and  _ oh look at that _ there's the anger he had been waiting for.

She's hissing out accusations now, her voice rising as she builds up traction and  _ this _ , this right here is even more familiar territory. Rick waits, this time not trying to diffuse the argument but end it all together, as she starts in on him cheating on her after he woke up from the coma in some rather creative mental gymnastics that had him impressed despite himself that he calmly pulls the paperwork from his back pocket. 

Peripherally he sees that the entire camp has stopped to watch this new bit of gossip. What a joy, the world might have ended but gossip survives so society hasn't completely fallen yet. 

He cuts Lori's words off with the sharp snap of paper unfolding. He twists it so everyone behind her can see the bold letters of  **Divorce ** and raises an eyebrow at her, waiting to see what lie she'll spin now even if he can't help but shut down the idea that it was him cheating on her. “I found the condom boxes too. Now, want to explain this?”

He hears Shane behind him whisper curse as instead of answering him Lori turns and walks away. He's not surprised at all. Any time she started a fight and couldn't win it she would do that. Just leave it like it never happened with some imagined high ground that Rick's never been able to understand.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and turns expecting Shane but it's Glen with his mouth open but words falling him. He sees Shane tearing off after Lori and sighs before thanking Glen for the sentiment. The poor kid looks slightly shell-shocked which is fair considering. 

He had just put away the damning paperwork when he heard the children scream.  _ Heard Carl scream.  _ He's following the others towards where the sound came when all the kids come running. He doesn't stop, just swings Carl up onto his hip and slows to a jog behind the others. One of the dead are eating a deer and as Rick watches the ineptitude of them all trying to kill it, he realizes that they haven't had to deal with many of them and probably haven't come across any of the Carrion Crows that he, Peter and Toni had on the road. That even if he's only been awake for a short time that he's at least as caught up as anyone else is now.

The leaves shift and Rick pulls his gun up, steady until the person that comes out causes everyone to relax. He can feel his lips twitching at each kick enforced word and outright smiling as he shoots the walker while calling them all out on their bullshit, Toni's gonna like him he bets. Hell he did already.

It sobers him when he hears him holler for Merle that he realizes that this is Daryl Dixon, the brother. He calls Shane off with a look sending Carl with him, uses his best ‘nothing to see here’ glare and has the others at least pretending to not be listening before he walks closer to Daryl. He's already defensive from what Shane tried to say and Rick knows that he has to be delicate so he gentiles his voice the best he can without it sounding mocking. “Your brother was shooting walkers from the roof after the building was surrounded. And that's mostly my fault that it was. When we got to the roof he was confronted, he threatened the others and attacked when we tried to calm things down. I was able to handcuff him to a pipe.”

Rick pauses to gauge his reaction before he continues, not letting Daryl speak just yet. “I noticed then that he had a white powder around his nose. I pulled a bag of it out of his vest pocket. I'm sorry, he wasn't supposed to be left. I only wanted for him to calm down without causing more damage until we got the situation under control.”

He watches as Daryl breath shudders, before he asks what happened and where is he so he can go get him. Rick answers the best he can telling him that he will come with him to help and that he understands doing anything for family. Lori's voice is shrill when she confronts him, all but accusing him of abandonment. He ignores her until Carl asks why and he tells everyone standing there everything. 

Of the mother and son Toni and Peter, that found him in his hospital room and realized he was still alive. That they changed his IVs and stayed with him till he woke up. That they explained everything that had happened, helped him regain his strength and promised to help him find his family.

That they came with him to his house and met Morgan and Duane, a father and son that were waiting on him back home to hear that it was safe here. 

That Toni and Peter were with him until they were separated by people that attacked them to take and kill or worse from them. That they are waiting on him and the walkie that he can contact them with is in the bag with the guns and supplies he dropped in the city. That the only way Morgan and Duane will know if it's safe if he could contact Toni with the walkie and she could pass it on to Morgan.

_ That none of that really matters in the long run _ . 

That leaving someone to die trapped is wrong.  _ No one _ deserves to die of thirst. Of exposure. 

_ And that should be enough of a reason but he knows it's not so the guns will have to do. _ The last sentence he speaks he looks at the younger Dixon brother in the eye and hopes he understands his meaning. From the nod he gets back he thinks he does. He really hopes so and he can't completely understand why he needs things to be okay with them and he didn't have time to dig into it. 

_ Later.  _ After everything he can figure it out later.

Rick thinks that the end of it until Glen and T-Dog volunteer to come too, when Shane snarls about leaving the camp less defended that he lays it out. That Toni has weapons, ammo and more that he noticed is desperately needed at this camp. How they can keep themselves safer by doing perimeter checks, watch schedules, make some kind of trigger alarms, use the vehicles like a fence against the wood line to make it harder for the dead to wander in without anyone noticing. 

He watches Shane he speaks, sees the words sticking and ideas forming from there. Leaves him nodding along and with purpose as he starts planning how to move things around as Rick turns to get his things together and to find Carol to see if they have any Gatorade and granola bars for Merle. Carol goes above and beyond when he explains it and even gives him a bag to carry it in. 

He meets Daryl at the back of the box truck and hands it over as he explains “Here, there's Gatorade and granola and a bit of first aid stuff. When we find Merle we need to make sure he's okay.”

The split second of unguarded surprised disbelief that slides across his face nearly brings Rick up short but Daryl takes the bags without a word. It feels a bit like an apology accepted and understanding.

“That was more civil than I expected.” He nearly jumps when Glenn speaks next to him. “Can't really blame him. It's his brother.  _ Family _ . I'd do the same. I have done the same.”

The ride is quiet, tense as they return to Atlanta. Rick's mind on getting the walkie back. Getting in contact with Toni. Making sure the two of them are safe. 

Things don't go to plan, Rick can't quite wrap his head around someone being able to take a hacksaw to their own arm. Daryl isn't handling things and that's fine. Rick isn't doing much better so he makes himself start thinking like a cop at a crime scene and come up with something to snap the younger Dixon out of it. “Daryl there's a blood trail. He must have used some kind of tourniquet since there isn't much blood. It's not much but it's something right?”

And that works. They follow the macabre bread crumbs into an office building before the trail ends with burnt skin and an open flame. They have to regroup, get the bag of guns and more important to him the only way to contact Toni.

Rick sighs heavily through his nose as he helps Daryl up. The Hispanic kid is terrified and Glenn had been taken but he got his bag back. That is at least something. He watches as Daryl paces like a caged animal before he turns to find somewhere slightly more private as he contacts Toni.

“Toni? Peter? Can you hear me?”

~ * ~

Toni eyes Henrik’s Pawn and Gun skeptically, it was untouched. She couldn't believe it was untouched. Murphy's law should make that impossible. Even as  _ something _ settles in her chest, the feeling that this is the right place to be she still hesitates, still takes cautious steps.

“J baby boy I need you to go over everything on that building.” Toni thought that they while might as well take advantage of everything they could on the way and finding a pawn shop that looked literally untouched was too good to pass up. But it might be too good to be true hence triple checking everything. 

“ _ Miss. There are life signs. Three of them are very small, children _ . _ The other three are adult sized. I cannot tell age with the limitations of the technology of the drones. I'm sorry Miss.” _ JARVIS’ voice holds remorse and irritation which never fails to make Toni smile that her baby boy has grown so much over the years. “Its okay. That's good enough for now. We'll figure out some upgrades when we can. What about Walkers or Crows?”

J's code gives her a negative and she passes the information on to Peter. He immediately wants to help the kids, Toni agrees so help they do by literally knocking on the door. Toni didn't know it was possible to hear a bitchface but J's code really feels like a bitchface.

Peter is waiting in the sentry very much against his will. The door opens and a double barrel is leveled right in her face, she looks beyond it to see a man maybe fifteen years older than her and smiles, she's always reacted to danger differently and for a man protecting children she isn't even offended, even if she can feel that JARVIS’ code is radiating stress. “Hello my name is Toni. Do you need help? Is just me and my son Peter, he's in the sentry back there.” 

She points and Peter waves enthusiastically like the cinnamon roll he is. When she looks back the poor man has lowered the gun and is waving back distractedly like he couldn't help but do anything less than return it and yeah Toni gets it, Peter comes across so wholesome and adorable it puts people at ease.  _ Peter also knows this fact and abuses it shamelessly. _

He looks back at Toni with a small hopeful smile. “That's a fine rig you got there. You wouldn't happen to know anything about fixing an RV would you?”

Toni smiles and nods, tells him she's a mechanic and seeing his relief at that makes her happy to know she'll be able to help. She calls for Peter to come on and they follow him in only to stop at the sheer number of weapons against the far wall. “I'm Henrik and is nice to meet good people, there's not many left in the world I'm afraid. Let me introduce you to my family.”

His wife Mary and brother-in-law Daniel are waiting by the counter. Their two children, both girls Sierra and Lettie, and Daniel's son Matt are watching a movie in the backroom are all under the age of ten. Henrik said that they've tried to keep them distracted and calm. 

He goes on to tell them about coming to the shop because he had just gotten an RV that someone had pawned a week before everything fell but it won't run now so they've been stuck here. That they need to get to Washington DC area where his brother, wife and two sons are. 

Toni is really surprised that they've been as safe as they have been so she tells them about the Crows they had encountered earlier in the day. That it is something that they will have to be careful about on the road. So they sit down before she starts on the RV and go over everything she can think of that they might run into, that can help keep the children safe. Hopefully they should be safe and Toni is so so very glad that they have a real plan by the time they finish talking.

It's the work of maybe an hour to fix the problem and show them some of the basic things they might have an issue with, what to do to fix it, and to cannibalize a few of the other vehicles in the back lot for them. In return they get to take everything that Henrik and family didn't bring with them which was surprisingly more than they expected. After they've waved the family off they get to work sorting. Though they decide pretty quickly that they wouldn't take everything no matter how bad Toni's magpie tendencies are trying to get her snag anything that she might find a use for. That it might save some other survivors life.

She did find a very nice competition bow in the back, she very nearly left it there with all the memories it dregs up from when Clint taught her how to shoot one so she could build him one that was better, could understand how the arrows reacted so that the trick ones would work properly. She had missed it even as it was tainted by everything that happened.

When she pulls it out of its case she can't stop the laugh that bubbles up, it complements her jacket beautifully with its matt black finish and elegant swirls of metallic Crimson and gold. So she pushes away the memories of Clint, let's them go as she takes the bow even if she'll never use it. It feels like closure, like letting infection drain so a wound can heal cleanly. 

She breathes out again and moves to look at the music section, they have all the things that they need to take so now they have a moment to look at getting a few non-essential things. She can already see Peter taking every comic book that catches interest.

Thank goodness for Wong’s amazing bag of holding trick. They've been able to expand all the containers in the trailer and they hadn't reached the size limits yet. Toni can't wait to actually find them, she figures it won't take much longer with they way she's hoarding things. It takes twice as long as it took to fix the RV but they have the time and JARVIS is keeping things clear. 

By the time they are done it's late and they don't have the energy to get back on the road again so they lock things down the best they can and crash for the night. Only taking long enough to force down another tube of nutrient paste and to split a can of fruit. They both fall asleep to the lullaby of JARVIS’ voice as he weaves the familiar story of Icarus to them again.

Morning comes quickly,  _ too quickly _ . 

But J has called an alert to the east for walkers. It is the work of a moment to patch into the feed from the drone directly into her mind's eye. She relays to Peter as she wakes him that it isn't too many yet but it's only a matter of time. They get things broken down and ready to go, setting up a timer delayed distraction to keep the shuffling masses from following them.

The road is clear and the music good. Peter is singing along with her at the top of their lungs when an exit sign catches her eye, it's for a tourist center rest stop. They might find more people that need help and she did promise Rhodey a souvenir. “My little spiderling what do you think about checking that out? There might be people to help. If it's nothing we can always enjoy a picnic since it's about dinner time anyway. This is a good place to stop for the night we should make it into Atlanta by tomorrow afternoon if the roads clear.”

Peter is already nodding his head before Toni even finishes speaking so they pull off on the exit ramp and stop as J launches one of the stealth drones. It's immediately evident that people had been there but not anymore. She's not sure if it was the dead or living that caused it but she thinks it happened toward the beginning. Before people really understood what was happening.

The other abandoned camps in the area look more defendable so they learned after the first time and they must have been trying to reach Atlanta but couldn't. She asks J to circle around again from a different angle before she cranks up the sentry and pulls up to the biggest building there.

It ends up being the souvenir shop, a well stocked one. They clear it and lock it down before continuing on to the others that are mostly empty or with nothing of use so they return back to the shop to start exploring, Toni smiling as Peter brings her every little trinket he finds, swearing each one a better gift for Uncle Rhodey. Everything from a mini moonshine jar shot glass to a bobble headed coon dog. She likes seeing Peter like this. Loves that he can still have moments like this as she watches him find coloring books and crayons, promptly taking all of them and declaring that there are kids at the camp that would love them and starts hunting other things for them.

Toni's eyes drift over the knick knacks until they rest on the far wall that is covered in novelty shirts of all kinds from bands to ball teams to Georgia slogans. All amazing and more ridiculous than the last. Peter follows her over after he fills a few bags of things kids might like making happy noises he finds something he likes.

She needs to find Rick one of the teams he loathes, he's going too hate it. She can't wait, she'll even wrap it in the CCR shirt they have. Horrible souvenirs are a staple for any road trip, there's no reason that when it's a road trip during an apocalypse should be any different. Peter literally crawls up the wall when they didn't have his size to steal the display.

_ Dystopian road trip for the win. _

They don't sleep well that night. Too worried about what they'll find in the city, if anything has changed or not. They toss and turn for a while before giving up and playing cards till the sun rises, Toni teaches Peter how to play poker and blackjack then how to count the cards properly before they move on to other games like bullshit and spoons. 

Even if they are tired from lack of sleep and stress it was a good night, a good way to spend time together even if she makes Peter promise to be extra careful when he counts cards and not get caught. Peter just smiles and she knows he won't be able to help himself from hustling some poor idiot if he gets half a chance, she wouldn't have taught him otherwise.

They watch the sunrise while they eat breakfast. Enjoying the quiet of the morning. It's still a new thing for her to not need to fill the silence, to not need to ramble to keep from drowning in it. Extremis really was the best thing that's ever happened to her even if she never truly wanted it. Everything after that has been about healing, about learning that she isn't the one that needed to change, she can accept it now. 

Ironic that not long after she did that she ended up in a place where no one knows who she is. Even when she was stranded on another planet they vaguely knew of her. She leans her shoulder into Peter's as they finish breakfast. Everything is packed and ready to go as soon as they are ready. Peter is rambling about the possible ways to get there from the gigantic map book he found last night, it was a good find since it covers not just Georgia but the entire south and southeast. They've been trying to make good time but most of the roads aren't clear so it's slowing them down. Now anytime they make it to a crossroads they send out J's drones to scout ahead. They should have been doing that to begin with, they've bypassed the shuffling masses and Carrion Crows more than once today. 

Managed to help one family from being torn apart, when Toni finds out they had to abandon everything to run from the undead she hands over a bag with supplies and weapons that her and Peter had prepared while at the pawn shop for a situation just like this after they turned down the offer to come with her. The couple they found too late Toni gave mercy to, the husband already gone but not yet turned and the wife bitten but not yet dead and begging for Toni to end it. They don't have time to bury them but there is a pretty oak tree overlooking an open field so she rests then together leaving them leaning against it, J's voice in her ear consoling her that she had done the best she could and the woman didn't suffer, that she didn't have to see her husband's Unbecoming. Peter doesn't say a word, just wraps her up in a hug. It's almost too tight and they both ignore that they are trembling, that they stay there until well past noon before finally letting go and returning to the Sentry. 

They are stopped at another crossroads and bickering over a map when the walkie crackles to life. “ _ Toni? Peter? Can you hear me?” _

Toni nearly drops the walkie in her haste to answer. “Oh thank Thor! It's so damn good to hear your voice. You were starting to worry us here, Aurora. Where are you?”

“ _ We're in an office building in Atlanta. Don't go into the city Toni. It's-its overrun. I found my son, he is with Lori at a camp.”  _ Rick's voice is hesitant like he wants to say more but not sure how to but he tries, he goes into everything that happened after they had to separate. Toni listens quietly before she sighs. “Tesla's curly copper fucking wires Rick. Just what the hell?! We are a little ways out still, depending on which roads are clear we should get to the outskirts of the city around five-ish. We'll aim for I-20. You stay in contact with me. We are on our way.” Toni pauses before she adds. “And dammit Rick don't you dare get in any more trouble. I'll update Morgan. We'll see you soon.”

Rick answers her back and the walkie is silent once more. Peter makes a questioning sound that has Toni looking at him. “It sounds like things still went about the same, want me to call Morgan for you mom?”

Toni just nods, already working with J to find the quickest way to Rick she can.

~ * ~

Daryl’s not sure what to think when Rick hands over the bag of supplies that he'd asked Carol for, to help his idiot of a brother.  _ Damnit Merle. Why did you have to pull this now? _

The box truck is quiet as they drive, he is both grateful and resentful of it. He wished he didn't know what to do, how it felt to be disregarded again by his brothers bad choices but he did. He knew all too well exactly what it feels like but it didn't keep everything from crashing down on him. 

That it's happened again and this time will probably be the last he'll ever see him. That if he got loose he’ll be gone and won't think twice about him. It's only years of experience with not showing emotion that keeps him still, years of survival in a house that was more war-zone than the end of the world that his life currently is. 

It shouldn't hurt, shouldn't  _ cut that deep. _ It's not the first nor the fifty first time this has happened. 

He measures his breathing as he forces himself not to give a reaction, give any kind of tell that could be used against him. This isn't the place for that, he had to focus on the now. Later,  _ later _ he could take the time to be not-okay and work through what his brother had done. For now he needed to lock down everything that was screaming in his head so he could function. Pressing it down, caging it all.

Anger. Abandonment. Grief.

The truck stops and he follows the others quietly as he focuses on the surroundings, watchful of threats. When they make it to the roof he falters at the sight of the bloody hacksaw.  _ Merle you fucking idiot. _ The severed arm taunts him and the blood is still tacky so it hasn't been that long.  _ Merle what were you thinking?  _

Daryl can feel the panic wrapping tightly around his chest, Merle being gone when they got there is one thing but this? What is he supposed to do with  ** _this_ ** ?

Rick's voice, deep and low, cuts through his tunneling vision of the hacksaw as he points out the blood trail and that's something Daryl can work with. He doesn't know how Rick figured out that that was _exactly_ _how _to pull him out of the spiral but fuck if he ain't grateful. 

By the time they find the burner that Merle used to cauterize the wound Daryl has to forcibly let go of the clingy hope that he'd be able to find him, that he wasn't gone. Breath shallow as he mentally resets his priorities, he's alone now. It's done. His bro-Merle made his choice.  _ Dammit you fucking drug addict excuse of a brother! _

So he steps back and follows Rick's play, he's done well so far, idiot tendencies non withstanding, and right now Daryl can't handle anything more than the objective at hand. Daryl knows getting the bag is personal for him since it's the only way to contact his Angel of Mercy if he's clocked the way Rick talks about her right, the guns are just a bonus. 

Daryl is not ashamed at all by the vindictive satisfaction that he feels when he shoots the little shit in the ass for taking the Asian. They got the bag though and one of the guys that had jumped them so it shouldn't be too difficult to get him back. 

By the time they get back to the office he's settled more, can think instead of follow. Can breathe.

Daryl notices the moment Rick steps away with the walkie that he's had in a white knuckle grip since he got it back. So he waits a minute before he follows, listening as a woman's voice snarls at Rick when he tells her everything that's happened. Daryl’s lip twitches at the creative cursing and he pushes the door open a bit more as Rick signs off with who Daryl guesses is Toni and all the tension in his shoulders melts before he turns and sees Daryl standing behind him. Rick's voice is low, defensive. “You hear all that?”

Daryl just nods unconcerned, letting Rick see the amused quirk of his lips and turns back as T-Dog calls for them saying something about a plan that Glen had about this. That the Asian kid delivered pizzas is as amusing as it is impressive. You never know what could be useful or adapted. 

He'd heard when the kid would go through scenarios for supply runs which was smart, so it isn't surprising that he would have thought about this too. That he told T-Dog on the way there some of the worst case scenarios that they could come across was even smarter.

The plan that they lay down to get Glenn back is sound, the fuckers wanting the guns more than their person is not expected at all and something is not lining up with it, from the look that he shares with Rick he's not the only one to think that. The damn grandma in the line of fire changes everything. 

A nursing home.  _ Dammit _ . 

Daryl ends up sitting with a lady as she tends her herb garden and talking about how happy she is her grandson came to see him. It damn near breaks his heart listening to her so he stays and thinks about the older couple that he stayed with a lot when he was little. 

One of the Vatos lean against the door after nearly an hour claiming that they need him for something, so she pats his cheek and hands him a bag before going back to her plants. “That was a good thing you did. Mrs Dea has been here a long time, no one ever visited.”

“Nah man. Just how I was raised. Respect your elders and all.” Daryl had never been comfortable with people noticing him and when he tried to give the bag back since it was full of herbal remedies the Vato wouldn't take it, said it was a thank you for having actual manners.

Rick is an idiot but so far in the short amount of time they have known each other he's been a better person than most of the others at the quarry. He didn't think any of them that were capable enough would have gone back for anyone much less his fuck up of a brother. 

Giving away half those guns is a damned bad idea. He knows why Rick did it and hopes he talked to them like he did Shane about safety measures because there are way too many blindspots there.

He's so glad to finally make it to where they left the truck and finding it not there is just about fucking right after everything else with this clusterfuck of a day. 

Glenn says it could be Merle but Rick calls him on the speculation of that and Daryl finds himself grateful that Merle won't be a scapegoat. “It coulda been anyone that took it. It coulda been Crows so stay sharp. I'll call Toni. See how far out they are.”

Toni answers cursing when Rick contacts her and tells her the situation that has everyone snickering. “Dammit Woody, I told you no tomfuckery. _This_ _is_ _all_ _tomfuckery_ Rick. We aren't too far from you, start making for 85 and we'll meet you.”

The crackle of the walkie cuts out and Daryl starts walking, looking over his shoulder when no one follows.”You heard the lady. Let's go.”

They made it nearly a mile down 85 before they start to hear the sound of a very big and heavy vehicle. It comes tearing up the exit ramp to swing around towards them and isn't till it's almost on top of them that they can tell anything else about it, that its an armored military SUV. It's a customized armored military SUV that is blaring old rock music which is so much worse. 

Daryl had his gun up when he registers laughter. Rick's laughter.  _ What the hell? _

The tiny little thing that bounds out of the SUV and slams into Rick honestly surprises him, that Rick lights up as he hugs her back, swinging her around just to hear her laugh too. He glances at the others and figures their face probably matches his. 

_ What. The. Hell. Rick?! _

There ain't no damn way this is the woman Rick's gone on about. She's too little, too delicate looking in that oversized jacket. Anyone could get lucky enough to find something like that SUV but that don't mean shit about the actual person. 

Another voice, this one male and young comes from their left, greets Rick happily too.  _ Fuck him, not another useless kid too. _

His inner monolog of being  _ oh so fucking done _ with everything continues as they load up pausing as he gets in the back, impressed with the interior. Nearly melting into the seat next to Glen, listening to T-Dog give directions and thinking that he probably will never see his brother again. 

The kid tells them where water is in the back, snacks too.  _ Christ _ ... _ this kid _ . 

Daryl let the conversation flow around him as he watches the sunset, as they get closer to camp. The peace of the moment is broken when Toni hits a group of walkers on the road leading to the quarry, she snarls out a command for ‘Weapons at the ready!’ as she pulls the wheel sharply to miss the people that had ran in front of them before slamming to a stop and vanishing out into the chaos with her son at her heels.

The rest follow, trying to keep in close formation as they take out any walkers that come at them while covering survivors that are trying to flee. Toni's red coat catches his eye as she moves, gun and blade in hand, graceful and deadly.  _ Beautiful _ . 

Her son flowing around her looking just as dangerous.  _ Well thank fuck. Not completely useless after all. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daryl is rather difficult to write. 
> 
> Especially here since as I introduced his POV his internal narrative was compromised. As time passed I slowly corrected it as he got over the shock of it and things moved from being slightly stilted to flowing more naturally. 
> 
> Please please tell me if this read right?! 
> 
> My friend that would beta for me can't do it anymore and it's made me paranoid about EVERYTHING!


	5. As The World Turns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl sees more than anyone realizes and isn’t okay. Tony meets Carl and some things from her past are brought to light. We’re all infected. Rick can’t deal with his ex-wife. And we must say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing alright out there! 
> 
> Now there is accidental child abuse due to a hysterical mother unintentionally harming her child. Including other brief discussion about it.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> -Lisha

##  ** _Chapter Five: As The World Turns_ **

**(Carl sees more than anyone realizes and isn’t okay. Tony meets Carl and some things from her past are brought to light. We’re all infected. Rick can’t deal with his ex-wife. And we must say goodbye.)**

Carl isn't sure about much anymore with how much things have changed, _keeps_ _changing_, but he does know that he is glad his dad isn't really dead. 

That he isn't supposed to know about his mom and Shane or the other ‘friends’ his mom had over while dad was working or staying while he was in the hospital. 

About the divorce papers she had or any of the other things she's done and more recently said. 

He can hear her talking. Ranting really. About Mr. Daryl, Ms. Toni and Peter. Mr. Daryl was always nice to him. He doesn't know Ms. Toni or her son but they helped his dad and he likes them for that fact alone so he doesn't listen to the awful things mom is going on about. How can she even say anything if she doesn't know her either? 

He doesn't get it. 

It must be a grown up thing. Which he is so tired of hearing. He knows things are dangerous but not letting him know can't be a good thing. Just because he doesn't know about it doesn't mean it can't kill him.

But no one listens because he's just a kid. Except his dad, he listened when he told him how he felt. When he told him he was scared and dad answered him honestly instead of acting like he shouldn't know or worse shouldn't worry. Amy will listen too but she's not too much older than him so he thinks they might not tell her things either.

He didn't want him to go help the older Dixon brother but he understood why. He saw the way Daryl looked when he found out what happened. Heard what his dad had said about doing what is right. 

He could see the apology as he called everyone out for not getting it and needing another reason, a selfish reason to do the right thing.

And all of it bothers him. 

So he looks to his mom and when he sees that she's not paying attention to him again,_ but he doesn't focus on that because that's not something new. _ He slides out of the seat and starts looking for Shane. 

Even if what he's doing with his mom probably isn't right but nothing in the world is right now, he still shows him things that are useful. Makes him feel less helpless.

He's happy when Shane sets him up beside him to thread cans on string and listens to stories about him and his dad as kids. Until his mom notices he's missing and comes to get him, that Shane isn't supposed to be around him now that his dad is back which makes no sense.

Uncle Shane's always been there. 

He tries to argue, tries to explain why he wants to help only for his mom to snap about him being a kid like that should answer everything before she grabs him by the arm, _ too tight, _ pulling him back to the picnic bench to the textbook that's two years ahead of where he's at that he didn't understand but tries because it's easier than saying something again only to be ignored or lectured for not trying hard enough.

He looks down at his watch again, his dad's watch that tells him that they only left four hours ago. He tries not to be disappointed that time is moving so slowly. He knows things take longer now, that you have to be careful about everything you do but he can't help but want his dad back, can't wait to meet Toni and Peter.

Can't help but hope that they'll be able to make him feel _ safe _again.

It's Amy that finds him that afternoon as he stares blankly at the textbook, mind far away on his dad and the possibilities that he won't let himself give voice to. She watches him a moment before waking closer to see what he's working on and wincing when she sees that Lori's left him with that damned high-school level textbook again. She knows the kid is smart but there's no way he can manage that kind of math without having been taught the basics. When her sister comes out of the RV with the fishing gear she gestures toward him with an exasperated look that Andrea mirrors before nodding to go find Lori. 

The two decided early that they would try to keep an eye on the kid the best they could since Lori was either right on top of the kid acting overbearing and unreasonably naive that everything would go back to normal so he didn't need to worry and then she would disappear completely for a while before she came back and started the cycle over again with an added dash of lecturing the poor kid on how disappointed she is about _ his behavior. _

Andrea came back around the RV with a smile and nod that Amy returned before approaching Carl asking, “Wanna play hooky from school work kid?” only to start laughing as Carl just about levitated up from the picnic bench to get away from the textbooks. She can hear Andrea's muffled giggles behind her as she hands Carl the bucket she was holding. “I'll take that as a yes.”

After getting Carl into the life vest and the boat in the water they just sit for the moment. Enjoying the peace of being on the water, isolated from everything that's happened. Andrea and Amy share a smile at the memories of doing the same thing with their dad and the same feeling of tranquility that settles over them even now. 

They spend time showing Carl all the things they can as they fish. Not trying to cram things in but just add as they go. He picks it up quickly even with the mishmash of techniques that the sisters use and maybe it's because of that he nearly out fished them. If the smug satisfaction that Andrea is radiating is any indication of Amy's own they must look deranged with how wide they must be grinning. 

They've got Carl to laugh, forget about things for a little while and managed to teach him something useful. It's a good day.

It's not until the end of Carl's rod starts to droop into the water that they think they've over done it and exhausted him until he turns to Amy in tears, questions pouring from him, if his dad is going to be okay? Why didn't anyone stop Sophia's dad? How could mom do that _ with Uncle Shane? _ Why does his mom hate Toni, they haven't even met yet?! Why doesn't she understand the world ended _ and it's not going back?! _

On and on he rambles out questions that must have been eating him up for a long time by the look of it. Andrea's eyes widening when she realizes that Carl _ knows _ about Shane and Lori. About so much more than she ever thought a kid his age could know and comprehend. Amy looks just as blindsided but still pulls Carl to her as he winds down into hitched breath sobbing that slowly runs down to whimpers.

Amy tries to be honest even with the glare Andrea throws her mouthing about it not being their business. Her answers that she can give are stilted and the ones she can't answer seem to double. But she is _ honest _. Carl deserves that much at least and she makes sure he knows that if nothing else.

Once he's calm and out of questions they had back to shore, back to the camp with their haul of fish. Amy ruffles Carl's hair as she speaks. “It'll be a good night. Maybe they can do a fish fry. That would cheer people up.”

When Amy asks Carl what he thinks and gets a genuine smile out of him she feels so much better. Andrea just sighs beside her but didn't say anything. It's as good as agreement with her. 

The fish are a big hit with everyone that sees them. Carl basks in the praise that he out fished them even as Andrea good naturedly snarks about it being beginners luck. 

When Amy starts showing him how to clean the fish he doesn't flinch back at how gross it is though Lori seems to want to pull him away. Thankfully she doesn't and Carl picks it up just as easily as he did everything else she showed him. 

When she mentions it to Lori the only answer she gets back is her wishing he could pick things up from his textbooks that easy and not just something like that. 

Carl immediately deflates, all his happiness just _ gone _ when his mom isn't proud. He helped the camp. Everyone will be able to eat a good meal tonight. He just doesn't understand why she's never happy with him. _ Why nothing ever seems to be enough. _

Amy curls an arm around his shoulders, tucked her head near his ear as she whispers even as she is absolutely and all consumingly livid on Carl's behalf. “I'm proud of you. Your dad will be too when he gets back, I bet Shane will be too when you tell him.”

It helps. Thinking about how he will be able to tell his dad and uncle Shane about it all. Maybe he'll be back in time to eat with them tonight. Carl starts on the next fish and Amy doesn't mention his sniffles as she helps him.

His dad and the others aren't back yet when they sit down to eat that night. Though he, Andrea and Amy made sure to set aside enough for them. He's sitting with the other kids as they eat, not wanting to be near his mom and using the excuse of being the oldest to keep an eye on them. Things feel almost normal until the shrill scream echoes out from near the RV followed by the wheezing growl if the dead before things fall into chaos. 

His mom and Shane are nowhere to be found. Gunfire erupts around him, drowning out his scream for them. The other kids are panicking so he yells and gestures at them to climb the tree they had been sitting under as he starts pushing them up into the gnarly old oak they've claimed as theirs. 

He doesn't let them stop climbing until they are high above the reaching arms. Tries to keep them calm and still so they don't fall. He hears the roar of an engine and hopes it's his dad. That he'll save them. The headlights are blinding and the boom of heavy gunfire vibrates through him. 

Carl watches as the two figures dance around the dead in the silhouette of the car lights. Watches as they take down walkers and pull survivors into a circle around the other's his dad is protecting. 

He can't help but call out to his dad when he sees him even across the clearing as they are, knowing that unless he screams they won't hear him. More walkers converge on the group only to fall to the two in the front, they flow around each other and the dead fall in their wake. 

The dozens of walkers at the bottom of the tree start wandering towards them and he _ screams _ for his dad but he didn't need to worry. The two that he now realizes are a woman and what must be her son fall upon them with brutal efficiency, Carl realizes that this must be Toni and Peter. 

Now he understands why his dad likes them so much. He gets it, they can _ protect _, can fight and now in this new world that's the only strength you can count on. 

The last gunshot lingers in the air as she walks closer to the tree, double checking that all the dead will stay dead as she goes with hey soon smiling a friendly hello behind her. When she looked up at them, her blue eyes shining so very brightly Carl couldn't help but smile back at her. “You kiddos okay up there?”

Carl didn't consciously jump into her arms but thinks he might finally start to feel safe again now.

Guarded. Protected. Home.

~ * ~

Toni has already collided with Rick by the time her mind catches up with what she's done and she's not even sorry. _ She's missed him _. His laughter warm against her cheek and she can't help but laugh too as he swings her around in a tight embrace. 

Toni keeps snickering at the looks the others are giving them, and when they visibly startle at Peter's voice. 

Rick smiles down at her as he greets Peter and introduces everyone. It's a soft thing that speaks more than it should of how much he missed them-her too and she knows her answering smile is the same.

Its quick work getting everyone loaded into the Sentry. Peter making sure everyone had something to drink and eat, even going so far as to offer Rick another protein paste and laughing at his snarled expression of disgust. Toni can't help the fond quirk of her lips that crosses her face even as the others look bewildered by Peter's earnestness.

“Oh. That looks disgusting. Why do we get granola bars and you get this?” Glenn chirps from directly behind the driver's seat. Toni is of course all too happy to help, answers. “Well he did just wake up from a coma barely a week ago. Gotta get weight on his bones somehow. Not only that but considering everything I wouldn't discount them. You'll probably be eating them too.”

Glenn's wordless sound of disgusted denial is wonderful. T-Dog making little aside comments to get Glenn to start gaging is even better though Toni still threatens to make them clean it up if he does make him puke in her car.

The group settles as they drive, content to listen as Toni, Rick and Peter snark goodnaturedly at each other. “So what exactly was going through your mind when you pulled the whole lone gunslinger thing? And that poor horse.”

“By the time I found the horse I was already behind schedule. All I could think of was getting to the checkpoint and back with y’all. _ Let's never separate like that again. _ It sucked.” Toni glances back at Rick as he speaks before answering. “ Yeah you got it sleeping beauty, no more getting separated. You apparently require supervising at all times. We need to find an adult.”

Just like that, the tension breaks as everyone laughs but Toni knows the seriousness of Rick's words will weigh heavy later on. 

_Those_ _mean_ _something_ a lot more important than he's letting on. 

Conversation ebbs into a comfortable silence, classic rock crooning a ballad to them softly as they turn onto the quarry road. 

The sudden roar of the engine accelerating followed by the shudder of the vehicle as it hits_ something _ that splatters black blood across the windshield which is accompanied by Toni's absently cursing under her breath as she jerked the wheel to avoid hitting actual live people before she threw the command of “Weapons at the ready” as she locked the brakes to bring the Sentry to a screeching halt. 

Toni and Peter don't hesitate, there are civilians, children, innocents that she will not allow to be harmed if she can help it. She can feel her mind go smooth, her son falling in step, the group behind them in a rough formation and _ moves _. Laying the dead to rest as they get the living into the safety of the circle behind her. Peter twisting around her fluidly as they continue to clear a path through the wreck of a camp.

“_ DAD!” _

The voice must belong to Carl so she turns to find him at the opposite end of the open space, relief hitting her to see him and a number of kids up in a tree even if it's surrounded three deep in the dead but they are starting to turn towards the gunfire even if they never come directly at her, the dead actively avoid her. 

She didn't so much loose time as it runs together as she drops walker after walker until they are all finally dead-dead. Toni turns back to the tree, the image of this child fruit bearing tree makes her smile as she checks the dead at the base of the tree before looking up into bright blue eyes of who can only be Rick's son. “You kiddos okay up there?”

Toni didn't expect to get dive bombed by crying preteens. Carl and who he guesses is Sophia, since all she can see is her hair, latch on like koalas. She's so very thankful for extremis at moments like this. There's no way she could have caught them both without falling otherwise, so hefts them up a bit as she tightens her hold as they start crying in earnest. 

She watches as Peter gently pulls the others down even as they latch on to him too. It's really adorable and J must agree because he is taking pictures via the drones circling the perimeter, his code a steady comfort as he calls all clear.

She feels Rick's hand brush the small of her back before she sees him circle around to face her. _ Very much not thinking about how she knew it was Rick from touch alone, _ before he runs his fingers through his son's hair and rubs the little girls back. 

Carol stumbles her way to them and didn't even bother to take Sophia from Toni, she wraps her arms around everyone all the while mumbling Thank yous and apologies before she asks if they mind Sophia staying with her a little while longer, that she was safe here while they got things straightened out. Toni notices that the parents of the kids that's claimed Peter are behind her so she speaks to them all. “Of course. They are all just fine. We've got them. Peter can make them a nest and set up the DVD player in the back of the sentry, they'll be safe there.”

When Rick asks the kids if they want down they just cling harder. Toni melts as she smiles her okay and starts humming to settle them when someone tries to grab Carl from her while hysterically crying that shifts into obscenity laden abuse when she notices that it's Toni holding her son.

The sound of terror the little boy makes as something makes a sickening pop, _ a sound she knows intimately as a dislocated shoulder, _will haunt her but it isn't Toni that shuts the woman down. It is Rick that pulls her hands from Carl's shoulder. That steps between his ex-wife and his son. Toni is impressed with his restraint as he calls Shane to take Lori somewhere, anywhere else because he doesn't trust himself where she's concerned. 

Lori's face had drained of color the moment Carl screamed in pain. She didn't fight Rick as he pulled her away and Shane herded her further before she started to cry with great heaving sobs. Toni thinks she genuinely didn't mean to hurt her son, that the hysteria that she seemed to have been gripped by made her not realise exactly how hard she had pulled. 

Toni watches as she let the other man lead her away, eyes on the crying boy in Toni's arms before Lori locks eyes with her and _ Marie Curie that's some serious rage for someone she's never met _. Just like that her crying stops and Lori's face twists into a ugly snarl, accusations and insults dripping like poison from her lips. That amount of anger aimed at Toni makes no sense because she hasn't even met the woman yet makes her glance to Rick even as he shakes his head. And what the fuck, how is she supposed to have seduced Rick while he was in a coma? Much less the other things Lori accused her of before her recklessness hurt her son.

Rick breathes methodically as he turns to lead Toni back towards the Sentry. Carol, Peter and the other parents following in their wake, the concern on their faces visible. She can feel the hand on her back trembling. Daryl falls instep as they get to the trailer, voice a low growl that belies his anger as he turns to Toni. “So you have the supplies to set and bind it? I can rig something if you don't.”

Toni nods, giving Daryl a small smile before turning to Peter. “Load all the kids into the back of the Sentry and build a fort. Pull out the candy and a movie. Whatever you need to do to keep them occupied okay?”

Peter hesitates a moment before he smiles and starts talking quietly to the kids in his arms then they start clamoring down to help. Sophia clings tightly for a moment not wanting to leave Carl but the promise that Carl will join them all in a moment and it would be great if they had everything ready for him had her twisting around the latch onto Peter back, the Morales following him.

Carl is crying silently, small hiccupping sobs break when he's moved wrong and Toni had to focus so hard on the _ now _, on not committing murder on a woman that she prays didn't intentionally hurt the kid so she does what she does best, she talks as she makes her way into the trailer, rambles all the while pulling the supplies needed before sitting down and shifting into seriousness. “You know you're doing really well Carl. I had something like this happen to me when I was your age.”

The words are felt more than spoken. “Did your mom do it?”

“My father. But _ his _ was very much intentional. I don't think your mom meant to hurt you, she was very very scared by everything that happened but she did and that's not okay. ” Toni looks back at the people that had followed her, she had completely forgotten about them. 

Rick looks angry all over again. Daryl eyes are full of sympathetic understanding and Carol has a hand over her mouth, eyes searching Toni as though she's seeing something no one else does.

Toni let it be. That's not why she said it. Sighing she looks down at Carl as he settles more comfortably on her lap. “Okay Little Deputy, we've got to set that shoulder. I'm not going to lie to you. It is going to hurt but it only lasts a moment and then it'll just be really sore for a while. The quicker we can manage it makes it hurt a lot less than if we wait. Okay?”

Toni watches Carl breathe really deeply a few times before nodding and burying his face into her shoulder, it makes her freeze for just a second her eyes darting between Rick and Daryl.

They are no help at all. Daryl is all gruff understanding and Rick is trembling like rage personified, though both men's eyes soften as Carl buried his face deeper into her neck. She narrows her eyes at them and they snap to focus.

Carl is back to ragged sobbing in his father's arms after it's done but calms back down quickly. Daryl places a hand lightly on Toni's shoulder to get her attention before nodding and going back to help the others clear the destruction that the walkers made of the camp, Carol following in his wake. 

The unspoken words of understanding resonating between them.

Toni watches him go, she had forgotten that he had one of those backstories, much like Carol's. Sighing she looks back at Rick, when she had his attention she gestures to the Sentry and Carl, getting a small smile in return she watches him go. ‘_ J, baby boy you there? You've been awfully quiet. You're worrying me.’ _

_ ‘I'm sorry Miss. I have been vigilant in my patrols so that you and the children will be safe. I found it necessary to remain occupied after Carl was harmed. I do not like it. Regardless of intent.’ _ Toni can feel J's anger and disgust rolling through his code in the back of her mind. It's a sore spot for him mostly due to her own childhood, Jarvis had become exceedingly protective of children. So she wraps him in her love and understanding before following after Rick to check on the kids herself.

When she leans into the open car door next to Rick she smiles. Peter is somewhere in the middle of the puppy pile of children, all of them zeroed in on the little TV screen and singing along with the princess. Carl is curled up between Peter and Sophia, all of them safe so Toni pulls Rick away with her to follow Daryl's lead. 

It's exhaustive work, moving the dead and making sure they will stay dead even as the three work in quiet tandem that Toni won't let herself think about too deeply other than knowing that this kind of awareness after such a short time is highly unusual, but she doesn't have time to dwell on it now. _ Later _. 

Toni was forced to to break up the knot of people that couldn't decide on a plan with the here and now method. It won't work for long but it will for now. Getting the dead out of the way before they can clean and salvage anything from the camp. 

By morning Toni and J have covered as much as they could timeline wise. Amy is still alive and so far she hasn't been able to tell if Jim was bitten. Carol's husband had been eaten almost entirely and Toni hopes it was a painful death if what had been implied was true.

Peter is still watching the kids with Amy's help and thankfully they are still asleep. Lori seems to have rebounded from her hysterical episode the night before, whispering with Andrea and shooting glances between her and Rick as they sit sorting through clothes. She was able to hear the one time they tried to draw Carol into their discussion had the poor woman up and walking away, upset and loudly stating that Toni had kept her little girl and others safe when they couldn't. That _ how dare they?! _

Toni just sighs before looking up at the sound of Rick's scoff. “She tried to act like everything was fine when I got here. When I pulled the divorce papers out and she couldn't fight them she just walked away like she always does when she can't win an argument. And now she's doing this? For what it's worth I'm sorry. I'm sorry that she's decided that all her anger and fear need to be projected on to you. You don't deserve it.”

“Rick. It's not your fault. We talked about that remember. You knew she would most likely pull something like this. It's okay. Just because I'm not screaming in her face doesn't mean I'm going to let her get away with it. Now just isn't the time.” Toni's smile isn't a very _ nice _one and the smile Rick gives back is just a bit vindicated in how it isn't very nice either. 

Jacquil screaming Jim's name breaks up the moment and Toni's eyes slip closed, Jim was bit. 

Amy might have been saved but not everyone can be. 

Toni's heart twists at Jim repeating that he's okay over and over. Like if he _ believes it _ enough it'll be true. 

When they get him settled and start talking over him like he's not there about what they should do Toni just about _ loses it _ and interrupts angrily. “What the fuck do any of you think you're doing? The only person here that gets to decide what is going to happen is **HIM**!” 

Toni's voice nearly roars the last word making everyone there take a step back and look away from the anger in her eyes. “Everyone here deserves to have a choice. We start doing this. Acting like this! We're no better than Carrion Crows. Jim is lucid. If the situation was different and Mercy was the only option then okay we'd figure it out but he's right fucking there!”

She's breathing hard and it's taking everything J had to keep her eyes from glowing from the force of her anger even as she feels his own fury at the situation before he shifts into protective calm that she let's sink into her bones. She continues to stare them down until they walk away, until it's just her and Jim before he speaks, voice breaking with a forlorn laugh. “Thank you. My wife would have loved you, she never let anyone get away with anything either.”

“Tell me about her? I can always use positive female role models.” It makes Toni smile when Jim gives a much more genuine laugh as she sits next to him and listens to the story he tells her in fits and starts about his wife and family until he works the courage to ask what she thinks the options are that Toni breathes out. “ I raided the military outpost at the hospital Rick was in and they had something there that would be like falling asleep. But Jim, I would like to try to get you to the CDC. The last time I read through the work they had been close to figuring it out. They might have something that can help. If you can't make it there though I'll make sure you're put to rest. That you won't come back.”

She sees the moment Jim understands what she means, the moment he agrees with her. “I'll try. As long-As long as you promise me that if I can't...you'll make sure I won't hurt anyone else.” 

It's the easiest thing she's ever promised anyone. 

After she hands Jim off to Carol to get him comfortable in Dale's RV she walks up to the group that's waiting on Jim's answer. “I want to try to get him to the CDC. If he can't make it we have a plan b and I'll take care of it. Now is everything done except for the funeral? Did all the dead get checked to make sure they are finally dead?”

Shane answers that yeah everyone killed by a walker is dead making Toni and Rick's head snap up, Rick's voice urgent as he asks. “Who died that wasn't?”

Shane's eyes dart between the two as he relays the accidental shooting and death before he starts walking towards the body. “But they weren't bit. Not even after they died.”

Toni holds Rick's eyes, conversation flickering between them as they realize they haven't figured it out yet. Toni watches as Rick starts to work his jaw, all but chewing on the words he needs to speak.

Toni gives herself that moment to _ breathe _ before running a hand down Rick's forearm. An answer and reprieve that he takes, falls back a step behind her right shoulder as she pulls her gun and waits. Shane reels back startled, hand hovering over his gun, demanding to know what's going on that is carried in a rippling echo across the people gathered around them.

“The epidemic began with an illness before it became what we see now. Amplification doesn't only happen with a bite. The sickness that spread before everything fell was the precursor to what it's become but everyone that didn't get sick became carriers.” Toni pauses, letting her eyes carry over everyone there, she can see the beginnings of understanding and the horror that grows with that knowledge. “We are all infected. No matter how you die you will come back.”

There's a moment of utter silence, the shock of Toni's words bringing everyone to absolute stillness. The sound of the wheeze-growl of the newly reanimated walker breaks the silence as it tries to move. 

The gunshot is abrupt. Toni holsters her gun and turns back to the group as Lori starts to scream.

  
  


~ * ~

Rick looks into Toni's eyes as she smiles at him, predator sharp and devastatingly ruthless, gorgeous in her viciousness. Rick can do nothing but return her smile by all but baring his teeth viciously in turn. He's still furious at Lori for hurting Carl, accident or not and knowing that Toni is only waiting for the proper moment to lay Lori out soothes something in him. Even if he knows the likelihood of Toni actually striking Lori is nearly nonexistent he knows she can and will flay his ex-wife open with words alone.

He lets himself bask in this moment, in the knowledge that Toni is with him and would have happily stayed there drowning in her presence if not for the raised voice desperately calling someone's name. 

Rick watches Toni's eyes slip close with what Rick can only call resignation and it hits him that she's guessed that they've lost someone else, even if they are still breathing they are already gone.

So Rick hangs back a bit from the others gathered together after they get Jim settled down. Just far away enough to watch and analyze how they plan to go forward. It doesn't take long before they start sliding down a path Rick _ can not _ and _ will not _ tolerate. 

Toni meets his eyes and he can see the anger building before she levels them all without any hint of mercy. Seeing the others flinch back from the harsh truths she all but roars at them, it hits him all over again that these people have been _ sheltered _ from the road. 

From what things can really be out there. 

That the life they had before never prepared them for the reality of today.

He herds the people away a bit and leaves Toni to speak with Jim. Rick can see the unsettled eyes of them as they recognize that they are lost, that they almost did something they couldn't take back, pinching the bridge of his nose he exhales slowly before he meets their eyes and speaks. “She's right. Things like this. Who we decide to be as a people. It will define us more than anything else. I refuse to become another Carrion Crow. That's not who we will be.”

They take it in and he can see it settle over their shoulders. By the time Toni joins them again they've all calmed down enough to listen as she lays out what the plan is and what they need to do now to accomplish it. 

No one argues with it even though Toni gives it a moment for someone to try so she pushes on, asks if the all the dead are put to rest. Rick's only listening with half a ear as Shane answers before he catches the full meaning of the sentence and his head snaps up. “Who died that wasn't?”

Rick looks to Toni as Shane starts to ask questions louder, drawing the camps attention and he can see the whole conversation she wants to have with him in them, the realization that _ they don't know. _

Rick opens his mouth, closes it, clenching it tight on words he doesn't have to explain the depth of the blindspot they've been in. He tries to speak again only to clench his jaw tighter when words still fail him. 

The small callused hand that smooths down his arm goes a long way to calm him and allows him to slot into place at Toni's shoulder. It feels like he had belonged there his whole life but only now was given the opportunity. 

It steadies him, this strange deja vu that exists in the back of his mind, this certainty that he's _ exactly where he belongs. _

That _ Toni _ is where he belongs.

Rick had tuned out to what Toni is saying as he drifts in the disjointed memory vertigo that caught him off guard, only coming back to himself to hear Toni say. “We are all infected. No matter how you die you will come back.”

Rick tenses, hands hovering over his gun and knife as she takes aim and waits. Rick knows everyone is shocked, that they will require proof that what they say is true. 

He hates it.

Hates that Toni has to prove herself to anyone. 

Hates that he knows these people will not believe her at her word. That they can't see what he does when he looks at her. That they are still so naive to the world as it is now. 

He knows they will learn, they will have to or they will die. Even in Rick's own head that sounds brutal, heartless but as much as it hurts to think it he knows it's fact. 

Rick straightens his shoulders as the dead man starts to twitch. The noise it makes is loud in the stunned silence, the gunshot even louder as it slams home the point Toni was making. 

It's Lori's screaming accusations at Toni and Rick until she manages to ask him how he knows this that Rick can finally answer. “When I woke up it was one of the first things Toni told me, showed me. She explained it to me using the last information she was able to get from the CDC. It's why we need to try and get Jim there. The reports I read said they were close to figuring something out. Even then, before I remember hearing about the growing epidemic. The police reports that were starting to come in about the violence, it was common sense from there really.”

Part of him wants to take the words back as soon as he says them when he sees the way the others take them, the way things that they had willfully ignored until now click into place. Some more so than others, Andrea looks nearly broken and it hurts to see that on her face. 

His eyes land on Daryl and he can tell that he already knew and like Rick, thought it was obvious. The head tilt and nod that he sends Rick convey both the _ I'm so done with all this horseshit _ and _ fuck it, you got this. I'm going to patrol _. Rick doesn't know how he understands that, can't really focus on this new awareness he has for Toni and Daryl now when so much needs to be done before they leave.

He walks back to the Sentry to check in on the kids and see if Peter needs anything only to find Amy and Andrea having a whispered argument about being infected and Rick can see now that that information has broken something in Andrea even as she raises her voice asking “what is the point of you'll just die anyway?!” before stomping away, leaving Amy near tears. 

Peter is out of the vehicle before Rick can reach her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her back towards the door promising chocolate and choosing the next movie though he lingers in the door with his head tilted in question as Rick steps up to him. “Yall need anything? We are getting ready to head out soon so parents will probably start getting their kids loaded up in a bit.”

Peter promises that they've got it handled, that he and Amy will keep them entertained until it's time to leave. Rick gives Peter's shoulder an affectionate squeeze as he turns to leave, his feet leading him back to Toni without him consciously meaning to. When Toni leans into his shoulder as he brushes it against hers makes him grin briefly before he tells her about Andrea, that Amy might want to stay near Peter for a bit. Toni nods even as her eyes stay unfocused as she communicates with JARVIS so Rick waits. 

“J says we are still clear. I'll make sure she knows she's got a seat with us if she needs to be away from her sister for a bit.” Anything else Toni would have said is lost as Shane calls for everyone to gather for the funerals. Toni leans into Rick once more before turning away to the Sentry, keeping the kids safe and away from everything.

Rick follows the crowd, he doesn't know any of the people who died and can't let himself care about them. They need to get moving, everything is done but for the goodbyes. 

Rick managed to talk the Morales into staying with them for a little while longer when he explained just how much danger there is when you're alone. He hopes they stay, part of him knows they won't. The call of family is strong, Rick understands that now more than ever. 

His son is safe, _ alive. _

And Toni..._ maybe _ one day. 

But for now he has a family of both blood and choice. People willing to work with him against the nightmare he's found himself in. 

Luckily the makeshift funeral goes quickly and everyone loads up to follow the Sentry. 

His eyes catch on Lori walking ahead of him and he knows that things with her will be a trial from here on out. That she's going to try to twist things to her advantage just as she always does. The anger that thinking about what she did to Carl shoots through him is flashfire bright and twice as hot, but he breathes through it and pulls tight at his control. 

Lashing out won't solve anything. 

As much as Rick would like to he won't so he keeps to measured breathing until he gets into the Sentry not surprised at all that all the kids had stayed since it's the safest vehicle they have. 

Rick smiles back as Carl and the others notice and greet him before going back to their movie, his eyes visually checking on them all settling on Amy who is curled up by Peter resting. They are all okay and something in Rick _ unwinds _ with that knowledge.

He turns back to find Toni watching him, face soft and questioning before giving him a smile. “Everyone ready?”

“Channel 17 on the CB with alternate as 3. Ready when you are Darlin’.” Rick will treasure the expression that lights up Toni's face at the endearment, Rick knows it's becoming addictive to be the person that puts that _ awestruck delight _ on her face. He's just fine with that.

They drive till nearly dusk before they come to a stop. That Jim calls it off. The pain too much to travel. Rick exhales, he made it longer than he thought he would. Holding on at the request of Toni, for the chance at hope. 

He wants to see the sunset and thankfully that is something they can give him. The meadow near the road is vast and the sky painted in pinks and red. The others have said goodbye and went further up the way to set up camp, only Toni, Peter, Daryl and Rick are there with Jim. 

The three men keep to a perimeter to give Jim his peace as he quietly talks to Toni. Telling her about his family, asking her to _ remember them _ for him. Rick scans the sightlines again, forcibly looking away. He and Daryl keep crossing paths, checking in with those unspoken words that Rick still can't let himself think about.

The last of the sun slips from the horizon as Jim falls into drugged unconsciousness. They all watch as Toni pulls her knife with one hand and waits, empty syringe discarded to check his pulse with the other. 

Rick watches as Toni grants Jim a final Mercy her voice carried to him by the wind.

“_ Goodnight Jim. Sweet dreams.” _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a Tumblr. Come say hi!
> 
> https://whatthemeepever.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys this is the first thing I've written that's seen the light of day in well over a decade so I'm a bit rusty.
> 
> I decided to post the first chapter today since I'm having a really bad week. Tuesday October 8th was the 2nd anniversary of my mom's death from battling breast cancer. Yesterday I got hurt at work and thought I just pulled a muscle but a painful lump came up on my breast on top of the pulled muscle. So I'm not okay at all and am trying to distract myself.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr with the same username. Hope you enjoyed chapter one!


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